Breakup. Will she come back. She says lost romantic spark. Advice?

#1 (**permalink**) 04-22-2009, 11:26 PM

I am 29 she 25. We were together for 3 months. We were really into each other and things went way to fast. We had sex within 2 days of knowing each other and things skyrocket ted. She expressed to me sometime that she needed space but was doing it so things didn't get messed up in the future. Then she told me that she felt that things went to fast and kinda freaked her out. She had just got out a a verbally abusive relationship one month before we got together. She states that she was messed up by her ex. She broke up with me telling me she lost the spark, and does not know why. She stated to me that she still wanted to talk to me and hang out and she will probably regret the decision to break up with me. My quest is she still thinking of me? Never had any problems in the relationship she stated she wanted to marry me etc and she told me we had a good relating..She states today that this is not easy for her either and she would like to stay friends with me and to be cool and let her think?
The ex relationship was verbally abusive and then she felt threatened that she had filed a restraining order against the person. I feel that this messed her up because of the fact she continues to state that I did nothing wrong. But if she is messed up from this and I am such a nice guy, why would she want to lose me being she had it so good with me. She is unsure on how she feels. Does she think she does not deserve me. Does time apart let hear heal and will she think of me? We have talked ad she is stating that she is thinking about us maybe getting back together but i have not given her a chance to. I guess don?t call? So I am looking for life experiences as to will she come back, how to handle it etc.. Women how do you feel in this? Do you think of your good ex (me) and want to get back?

#2 (**permalink**) 04-26-2009, 11:26 PM

She is playing head games ....Girls like to say that their x abused them when they don't get their way dump her and move on .... You are only looking at a long term head ache....She is confused and is still in love with her x.... Good Luck and don't get taken in.....

#3 (**permalink**) 04-29-2009, 11:26 PM

OK, speaking from experience, i was in a very abusive relationship and did the whole rest order, etc...if i were to have met a wonderful man and "fell in love" 1 month after separating from the abusive one, i would probably take a step back too. only saying that b/c i know i haven't completely healed and become myself again after my horrible experience and it's been a bit more than a month. she really shouldn't have gotten so close to you that soon b/c she needs to heal and find the woman that was taken away...i am not saying that the two of you aren't right or happened to soon, i just think that things take time and she just may need more time.
blessings to you and your future

#4 (**permalink**) 05-03-2009, 11:26 PM

Let it go. I have been through this, actually a recent break up. He was the rebound. We slept together the second night. He is 25. I am 29.

At 3 months, I wanted him to back off and slow down. I wanted his space, but he kept at me, didn't want to lose our magic. I wasn't emotionally ready to take on a relationship before working through the baggage of my previously jacked up relationship. Three years and a wretched break up later, I now realize, it wouldn't have gotten this far and nasty, if he would have just let me go when I was trying to find and heal myself.

If you care for her, give her this space, be her friend....don't be selfish. She needs to find herself and love herself before she can love you.