BREAKUP ADVICE! HUGE FALLOUT This is odd, why would someone do this when they pushed to be friends with me?

Ivyvine · #1 (**permalink**) 10-20-2008, 01:08 PM

Me and this girl broke up after 3 1/2 months. (I 29 she 25) Initially she told me that she lost the spark. She wanted to stay friends badly!. I kept asking her i wanted her back sweetly. We fought over the next 3 weeks about getting back. She said things like you cant force it, give it time, etc.. Then she started to call me a crazy person cause i persisted and i know i did. Last night i get a text from her telling me the reasons for a break up. My charm got old. She was no longer attracted to me cause she is outta my league, my assizing got sickening and now she says she will never be friends and wants nothing to do with me. I pushed to far? . Will she ever talk to me again. Has anyone ever had someone talk to them again after something like this. I really just wanted to stay friends. Saw her recently and she said hello. We tried to talk but she said she has nothing to say? The happened to her? She said she will regret the breakup. Why would she if she wanted it over!
I saw her this past weekend and we tried to talk, but she said she had nothing to say to me. We hang out at similar places and she talks to my friends. I treated her so well. She always told me how lucky she was to be "stuck" with me and i am the best. Told me she wanted to marry me etc.. have kids and all. All of a sudden you lose feelings. Makes no sense. She did just get out of a 2 1/2 yr verbally abusive relationship which ended in a restraining order, which I come to find out she has started to text/talk him again, nonstarter while we were together, of course she denied, but I have proof. I guess i was a rebound or what. Do you guys think she just realized she didn't want to be in a relationship cause she was not ready?? Or was she just confused, she is a Gemini and I am a Pisces? Any advice on how I should deal with this?She said she will regret the breakup. Why would she if this is what she wanted? Any helpful advice to move on or what could come of this. Thanks so much!

sunny boy · #2 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 01:08 PM

Wow. that girl sounds pretty much confused. Sounds to me like she still had feelings for this guy and she got with you too soon. Sometimes the whole "good-guy" boyfriend girls don't like, a lot of girls dint want a boyfriend who is too sweet. I would leave her alone, girls dint want you to be too pushy in getting them back makes you seem to easy a target and they got you wrapped around their finger. It is true girls want what they cant have.

Sexy boi · #3 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 01:08 PM

somewhere down the line, she realized that you weren't what she was looking for. She tried to let you down gently. The reason for the fallout is that you left her no choice when you persisted to try and get her back. She might have issues that made you guys incompatible or maybe you two just weren't meant to be. Either way the best thing to do is let it go.

I don't think there's a lot you can do, except pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game. You two might be over but there still time.

ictbu · #4 (**permalink**) 10-30-2008, 01:08 PM

You pushed too hard and creep ed her out. It sounds to me like there was a lot of stuff, you are too needy, you were a rebound, could be more but from what you said that is what I'm getting. She obviously thinks you are a good guy, but maybe decided that you are not what she is looking for.

My advice, go find your buddies and go out and have some beers. Be a man and move forward. Maybe after a while she will change her mind and come back, but it sounds like you pushed to hard and now she thinks you are way too needy for her, so I would look for someone new.

BheeR22 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-02-2008, 12:08 PM

I say move on. Apparently, you were a rebound and now if they are talking, she is probably trying to get back with him. Let it go and move on with your life.

ajaaland · #6 (**permalink**) 11-03-2008, 12:08 PM

Give her space, the best thing to do is to tell her that you're there for her. The fact that her previous relationship ended with a restraining order means that she's had a hard time, she's probably afraid this could happen again, let her know that you're sorry for acting this way but that you care for her and will back off. The ball is in her court! I don't think there's much more you can do. I think she has issues that she needs to deal with, and unfortunately you are stuck in the middle of this.

Good luck, I truly hope things work out for the both of you.

stevemeister · #7 (**permalink**) 11-07-2008, 12:08 PM

she just got out a long term relationship (plus abusive) she just want to have fun and enjoy her freedom etc.....you're probably just a rebound....it doesn't matter she cares about or care for you....at 3 months....just have fun and move on......

don't be too dependent, girls don't like that...only 3.5 months =/ why are you sweating over it????? keep the fun memories stay friends, stop fighting over it...maybe I'll have a chance in the future when she's really ready to commit to you

Plug In Baby · #8 (**permalink**) 11-12-2008, 12:08 PM

Move on. She like guys who play rough. She is one of these that you have to be on the game all the time, or she gets bored. If you were willing to resort to the right type of head game, you could get her back. I'm not going to tell you how, though, because in the end you won't be happy. It requires a certain kind of manufactured disdain, or a guy who is really just that much of an a$$hole. Find a sweet girl, I think that is what you need. These girls who are beautiful but damaged aren't as fulfilling as a girl who may not be as beautiful physically but are fun to be with. I know it sucks, especially after the time you spent on her, but cut your losses.