Need advice; does my ex's problems have something to do with our breakup?
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Need advice; does my ex's problems have something to do with our breakup?
I am a senior in high school and my entire junior year, I was dating this guy. It was the most serious relationship I've ever had, and we were each others first loves. He was kind of a "schoolboy" and he got mad if I didn't go to school or if I got high or drunk. So during our relationship, I didn't do any of those things for him. We broke up because we were kind of suffocating each other with jealousy. He was actually the one who broke up with me. Our breakup was pretty dramatic, and after it happened he started skipping 2-3 days out of the week. He also started doing drugs. He would do things to get me jealous and he even made another my space and added me as a girl, but I realized he was behind it so I deleted it. He had a new girlfriend but for a long time he continued playing games with me, acting like he still loved me but then pulling away. To be honest,I did the same thing without realizing till later. People kept telling me that he would talk about me and so I approached him about it twice and he finally stopped. Anyways, I cut him off totally for a few months and things got better. Now, we're both in relationships, but we remain friends. A few weeks ago I didn't want to go home so I stayed the night at his house and we just talked and listened to music. Then we ended up getting really drunk and we didn't do anything sexual but we fell asleep holding each other. & when I see him but don't acknowledge him he GTE's mad and ignores me for a while, but eventually he gets over it and pretends like it doesn't matter. But anyway, he still skips but now it's almost every day, and he's not going to graduate on time. & now I realized that I too skip a lot(not as much as he does though) and I might not graduate on time either! Although I am doing what needs to be done to graduate, while he just stopped coming to school.
Do you think it has something to do with what went on between us, or do we just both have similar problems?
PS: people have said that it seems like he's trying to deal with our break up through drugs because he still loves me, but I'm not sure because he seems like he really cares about his girlfriend.
& No, I'm not into drugs anymore. Just him. So please don't be rude.
Talk to him, be friends. Nothing more than friends though, don't lead him on, but acknowledge his presence. Don't fall asleep with him, but maybe hang out with him on weekends in public during the day, talk to him about it, tell him that you would love to graduate high school with your first love ,being your current best friend, standing by graduating too.
you need to help him. talk to him tell him hes screwing up. i messed up and skipped for days then just finally quit because i was doing drugs and i got pregnant and now I'm 6 months along and Ive really grown up and i realized school is the best thing for anyone. he needs an education. and you should help him through this.
wow, Ive gotta tell you something, its scary how much this is like a situation Ive been in. I'm willing OT bet solid money , from what you told me, that he is in fact dealing with stress by skipping, and the fact that he has become SOpooed to skipping im thinking lazyness took the best of him and chooses willingly not to go. see my point? like he initially may have been upset and chose not to go because of the situation, but im thinking hes now skipping just because he has become so used to doing so that he doesent want to have the drive to keep going to school. also, i think alot of his antics are to catch your atention, seems like it kinda worked a lil.
i gotta say though, i too have had times where my ex has called me and talked to me wanting me back, and its hard to say "go away" or anything, i mean anyone thats had a big impact on your life can tug at the heart strings! im thinking he does in fact regret what went down between you two, and knowing guys he sure must think of you often
i think that BOTH of u still love each other... u both do the same things, u slept over his house... with him... i think that u 2 should get back together
Well it's cute for you to care and seriously I think you should sit down with him at your house or his and just talk. See what's wrong and it's possible that he might be an alcoholic..encourage him to get help possibly even rehab. Get his closest friends to talk him out of drugs and drinking and skipping school. Maybe you shouldn't let his girlfriend into it too much because he'll most likely blame it on her and you'll be making 2 people miserable
I went through something similar as him before.
i dint think this is something you should blame yourself for, i would think there is quite a number of things that are bothering him. since you are STOL friends, i recommend you talk with him about all of this, and find out the root of the problem.
He's not ignoring you, he's giving you the time that he has left. When a person is on drugs, his first love is drugs. You get to be second. You are second so accept it. You might try to help him realize that he has a problem and to get help for it.
It also looks like his drugs are pulling you down with him. You must decide how far you are willing to go. It is never good to build a relationship on drugs and alcohol. Try to make your first priority to graduate on time and the look at post-high school education that you will need to support yourself and get that done.
Well if I know anything about first loves...he's still getting over it. He's trying to cope in all the wrong ways...unfortunately he's not trying to better the situation. I would like to say you should be a friend and stay by his side...but you can't right now. He really needs help...and for him to ever get over you he needs to Eb away from you...You should tell him how you feel about all of this...and then start distancing yourself until he's completely over it...then you can be friends. He's probably doing drugs and all of that for the attention...he wants you and everyone else to know he's suffering...that he's hurting...he should probably get a psychiatrist...and you can still be his friend...he really needs you...so I would check up on him...or have another friend that knows both of you check up on him and give you updates....above all else you need to tell him the way he is acting isn't healthy, and how as his friend you want him to get better and your there for him if he needs it. I hope I helped. Good luck.
Need advice; does my ex's problems have something to do with our breakup?
