Advice on breakups?

Pat · #1 (**permalink**) 01-26-2010, 07:05 AM

I know most will say "move on!" but i would appreciate if you read my story first. I've been in one bad relationship to another. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and i can't seem to understand why. We were together 9 months, everything was great, and about a month ago he started acting weird. The reason he gives me for the breakup is that he's too busy to have a girlfriend at the moment, too much work, little free time and I'm far away. I asked if there was someone else, he said no. He asked if we could stay friends, i agreed, but i realized it's hard. I still have very strong feelings for him, this is the best relationship I've been in, and i don't wanna let it go so easily, I tell myself he only needs time and space, but that's too naive i guess. He stills talks to me but not like before, and i miss him so much. Some say fight for what you want and love, others say move on. I'm not a demanding GF so i don't get why he feels so pressured. What to do? I'm suffering enough.

herbs411_42719 · #2 (**permalink**) 01-28-2010, 07:05 AM

To me, it sounds like you already know what to do, and you're just too afraid to do it.
Suck it up, and do whatever it is that you think you're supposed to do.

girlMD · #3 (**permalink**) 02-02-2010, 07:05 AM

Love is pain and pain is love! But I think it should be on both sides. Do not suffer for someone who dint deserve it or who will not suffer for you.
I have been madly in love. He was my first bf, i love him a lot. Unfortunately, we broke up. I spent months crying over him. But I was the cause of my own suffering. In fact, i used to think that i cant live without him, i cant stop loving him, that i will not find somebody like him. Just think about, if he is that special why is he making you suffer. There is someone out there who deserve you more than he does! Dont put your self down, dint under estimated yourself. No matter how you look, you are some body's charming princess.
I was able to get over my bf but i took me time. Try not to think about him . This is just my advice.....but follow your heart,

Ganal · #4 (**permalink**) 02-05-2010, 07:05 AM

You need to give him space...stay friends with him - for as long as you can - it may hurt that the relationship is not where it was those 9 months..but if you can cope with the pain of those feelings you have for him, just talking to him on the phone over a period of , lets say a few months, see how things are later....you should know then how he feels about you etc then, when he is not being pressed into thinking he has to act a certain way with you because your his girlfriend....

omgiitzneha · #5 (**permalink**) 02-09-2010, 07:05 AM

Well that's usually what people say, "move on". Well that's not easy to do especially when you thought the relationship was going fine.It's a total surprise, a slap in the face.Well in order for you to either move on or rekindle what you both had, you have to have a serious talk to him. Demand (nicely) the reason for his decision to just end your relationship. He at least owes you that.Other wise you will always be wondering what went wrong. Whether you did or didn't do something.To stay just friends after a break up is not easy. And he shouldn't be expecting you too, or even imagine you could after he just ends what you thought was a good,healthy and prospering relationship.You need a definitive answer from him, even if it hurts. Not knowing will drive you crazy and even worse, if he eventually gets another GF.You will be left even more heartbroken and confused. And that alone could make it hard for you to enter into another relationship for fear of the same thing happening.You have to do this, for yourself.Make sure you have support from family and friends. Good luck !