I need some advice on how to deal with a breakup!?
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I need some advice on how to deal with a breakup!?
I have been in an almost 9 year relationship with my child's father, and now after all these years, he says he's not in love with me anymore, and hates coming home! I'm pretty devastated right now, and really need to know how to deal with this!!!! I've talked to the pastor at my church, and that helped a little bit, but there's just this sense of hopelessness, depression, and despair. How do I pick up and move on?
Sorry to hear about your loss. The second best thing you could have done is talk to your preacher/pastor. Now you should sit down and find peace with God. Then you just have to take that peace inward, and whenever you feel that dis pair tugging at you, remember that peace that God gives. Time is the only cure for some wounds, but God is always a Great band aid!
focus Mir3 on your3 child but dint b3com3 boss3siv3 just to g3t him out of your mind... if h3 f33ls Th3 Liv3 isn't Th3r3 anymore3 Th3n maybe3 h3s m3t Sim3body 3ls3 and is in d3sir33 to mov3 on...l3t him go dont hold on to som3thing you could also discuss th3 possibility of a "break " inst3ad of a actual break up...
First of all Keep your faith and self esteem. God will see to it that you will be taken good care of. Have strong faith. Time heals and changes all things. I have been going Thur what you are and it takes time. Remember your child, they are the victim in these breakups that suffer the most.
IM so sorry that must hurt...hes being honest tho which gives u a chance to find Simone that does care for u and Ur child..in time when u meet this man u will feel happier then ever, i say this because if he does not love u then he must treat u with a lesser degree of respect and Ur Polly used to being treated that way. let him go Darline and find the strength to face Ur life and begin new adventures./
be happy he is out of your life.
he had a kid with you and didn't marry you?
what a moron!!!
your child does not have to be around this. you do not have to put up with this.
this is a new beginning for you. cherish your new found freedom. you will find someone else so much better who will appreciate you and love you the way you need to be loved!
if i was you i would be celebrating!!!!
you already wasted 9 years of your precious time with him. you don't need to waste anymore minute.
have fun, life is short honey! and teach your kid the same: not to date morons. be a good example to him/her.
You need to rebuild your social life. Join an organization, volunteer, spend some time with your child. Keep busy. Start a new routine. Move if you have to. Maybe this isn't healthy, but I find that if I pretend everything is fine, eventually it is. I am sorry for you = (
Nine years is a long time....picking up and moving on will take a long time also....My advice...is keeping busy....get your house clean...take walks...spend time with the kids....be proud of who you are....take your depression and despair...and turn it into positives...don't let this rot your insides....work on yourself...exercise...and soon you will feel better...doesn't matter what he thinks anymore....after the lump in your throat goes away....you'll be fine.
Do you have a really good friend that you can talk to and hang out with? Someone who is very trustworthy and will give you the support that you need. I have found that a good support system of friends and family is what has helped me through situations like that. Possibly take up a hobby of some sort to occupy your mind. I know that nights are the worst, so just do your best to get through one day and night at a time. Spend a lot of time with your child as this will be very hard on him/her right now too. Concentrate on keeping your relationship strong with your child, as children can bring us so much happiness in times of need. As time passes, you will get stronger. I wish you the very best! Good luck!
Seriously...this is a tough less. First Grieve to get it out of your system. Work with friends and family (remember this too shall pass) but do not substitute a lover as a crutch. Next, when you're ready to move on you have to learn this important lesson. It's important to learn on how to be alone without being lonely. Basically, getting comfortable with yourself. Once you start looking for others as a need...you will attract the worst kind of people. Its like they have a sense that you are needy and they will gravitate to you. Once you can stand on your own feet...then your strength with attract other strong independent people. Your next relationship should be based on choice not a form of need.
first u have to realize that may still have feelings for you but Hun you can not make decisions for him cause he is his own person but listen to me and think bout it 9 years is a long time and ya i Wilde divested but hey its Guenna take time cause no body likes a change its the way we grow its a part of life and no matter how hard we try its Guenna happen I'm only 13 and me and my fiance have problems sometimes and i just realize its a part of Alfie that's how we all learn from our mistakes and so ya this may help and it may not but i pray for u at niter and hope things get better but i do wish u the best of luck and u know that u can not make him love you but i do beileve in miracles and it may work out just sit him down get a baby sitter and just the 2 of you talk bout ur problems and i hope this works**god bless you hun**
Just like everyone else has said it takes time, find comfort in Ur friends and family and maybe focus on u for a while. get a new hairdo, buy itself a new pair of shoes or a new outfit. get a couple friends and go 2 a club, out 2 dinner etc. try 2 make that day a day of healing declare it a day of finding itself and Ur happiness. from personal experience i know what Ur going through and it ain't easy i wont lie. but u must understand that people out grow one another sometimes and it may b nothing u can do about this. u will find that with each pa sing day it hurts a little less than the day b4 just remember life goes on and u may actually gain more than u have lost in the long run. u were in in a long term relationship and u have the right 2 grieve, but u will come 2 realize that u still have so much 2 see and do in this world, time moves so fast and u would hate 2 miss something big so pick itself up and try 2 carry on this feeling shall soon pass. best of luck 2 u
i went threw this and believe me its the hardest thing i ever went threw ,but now that I'm over it I'm so much stronger and and i realize that i can make it on my own and i can find some one much better for me.
i know how you are feeling it hurts so bad you cant breath sometimes,,try this stuff and you will see there is a light at the end of the tunnel ,and i know words dint always help in the darkest times of this ,but you just have to hold on tight to the fact that this is a proses and you can get threw it,first dint do anything that you will regret later,think and take advise from people who love you and who have your best interest at heart now isn't the time to make big decisions so rely on someone you loves you or that cares,like the pastor or your family,,some times we are thinking with a clouded mind ,,,OK sometimes the only thing you can focus on is just breathing,when you are so up tight just breath and some of the things i used was breath though one nostril and out the other ,deep inhales and slowly blow out and vision in good out bad ,there is a reason to do this ,first you focus on something other that what your thinking the other it does work to reduce the pent up stress of this,,,next set times for grieving like only at certian times etc and if you get on a grieving spell say no its not time,set play times with your child and just go to the park,read books and just have mommy /kid time,,go for walks somewhere that you can cry if you need too,no matter what ,get your self dress up and go out with friends no matter how bad you dont want to ,make yourself,each time you make a step forward and out into the world its that bit of time your not focusing on this ...get involved in some things you have wanted to do take a class at collage,ceramics,excercize,do somthing the more you set and whoollar in it the deeper its going to go.been there done that ,and everyone has a grieving time and everyones different ,it could take you a year before you are feeliing better it could be more or hopefully it could be less,but each person is different,..its ok to greve ,but do it constructivly,and dont get involved with another guy for a bit untill you have gotten threw this,and the first few guys will be just for fun relationships ,just someone to hang out with and have fun..focus on what it is you are most grieving about, keep telling yourself the truth to this its best to be away from someone who doest love you and its not you who is at fault nor him ,we cant chose who we love and dont love ,i know that hard to realize but its true,you want to be with someone who loves you as much as you love him,,so take the time to grieve each day for a while ,like only in the shower or just before bed when its your time,go for walks and spend kid time,and make plans for tomarrow but no further ,live one day at a time,if needed set up a callendar ,and be good to you!!! take care hugs to you ,it will be ok i promise! please take the time to read this link i sent it will help you to understand it takes time hun sorry ,but you are strong look you made it this far in life ,,,take care
I need some advice on how to deal with a breakup!?
