BREAKUP. HUGE FALLOUT! Any Advice on what she is thinking and what i can do?

sugar_x · #1 (**permalink**) 09-03-2008, 05:54 PM

Me and this girl broke up after 3 1/2 months. (I 29 she 25) Initially she told me that she lost the spark. She wanted to stay friends badly!. I kept asking her i wanted her back sweetly. We fought over the next 3 weeks about getting back. She said things like you cant force it, give it time, etc.. Then she started to call me a crazy person cause i persisted and i know i did. Last night i get a text from her telling me the reasons for a break up. My charm got old. She was no longer attracted to me cause she is outta my league, she felt i was buying her love and my assizing got sickening and now she says she will never be friends and wants nothing to do with me. I think i pushed her to far. Will she ever talk to me again. Has anyone ever had someone talk to them again after something like this. I really just wanted to stay friends. Saw her recently and she said hello. We tried to talk but she said she has nothing to say? The happened to her? She said she will regret the breakup. Why
I saw her this past weekend and we tried to talk, but she said she had nothing to say to me. We hang out at similar places and she talks to my friends. I treated her so well. She always told me how lucky she was to be "stuck" with me and i am the best. Told me she wanted to marry me etc.. have kids and all. All of a sudden you lose feelings. Makes no sense. She did just get out of a 2 1/2 yr verbally abusive relationship which ended in a restraining order, which I come to find out she has started to text him again, nothing more and the testing started while we were together, of course she denied, but I have proof. I guess i was a rebound or what. Do you guys think she just realized she didn't want to be in a relationship cause she was not ready?? Or was she just confused, she is a Gemini and I am a Pisces? Any advice on how I should deal with this?

Aissata · #2 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:54 PM

move on...you may have a chance to get back with her..but you seem to focus only on her..you need to do some things apart for one another..you are too attached..

Wildfire · #3 (**permalink**) 09-09-2008, 05:54 PM

Perhaps you came on too strong. You really should have given it time.

On a random topic, ha ha I am a Pisces and never got a girl. Looks like Pisces's always get it bad for caring too much.

Courtt™ · #4 (**permalink**) 09-13-2008, 05:54 PM

i dint no if she will talk to you but i no you seem like a nice guy. and it was her loss not yours

Eviliser · #5 (**permalink**) 09-16-2008, 05:54 PM

move on, sounds like she wants to be with her old boyfriend. you can find someone else who doesn't have these hang ups!

Cyclist 2300 · #6 (**permalink**) 09-18-2008, 05:54 PM

I'm going through a similar thing with my lady. All I can saw is let her go. Use this time to meet other people, find someone who is a better fit, or just find something more productive with your time. It's hard, but I know you will pull through, break-ups are rough, but if she is gone and your 'charm' has won her over for 3 months and now it's old. You can only be you.

rachelle_inhighheels · #7 (**permalink**) 09-22-2008, 05:54 PM

I seriously think you should try and get over this girl and move on. It's painfully clear that she isn't in love with you as you are with her - these things do happen all the time and I would guess fate has someone in mind for you who is far more suitable and will be equally as committed as you.

You're obviously a loving person and the future will bring you happiness, but not with this girl who you need to move on from, you are in serious danger of making a complete idiot of yourself if you continue to pursue her in any way.

Life is too short to waste on people who don't value you.... choose life and move on and look for that real happiness that you deserve. Good luck.

Invisible · #8 (**permalink**) 09-24-2008, 05:54 PM

Hun i think you should just both move on with your life...when its over its over. i dint want to sound mean but you sound like you were a bit too obsessed about her...just move on...i know it hurts but it might be best for both of you. she said she might regret the break up because she probably feels insecure with her life (she probably seeing someone else she not sure about) and she is probably keeping her doors open in case it fails

tan_yuh4112 · #9 (**permalink**) 09-26-2008, 05:54 PM

The way Ur saying u sound like Mr.Nice Guy and nice guys finish last...Just don't lower your self esteem. Whatever people say..SHE DID NOT DESERVE YOU! TRUST ME!

Its okay to be a nice guy....but most of the girls take our being affectionate or caring as if we are an A$$ kisser or treat us as doormats....PiscesNSre great lovers....gemini ppl are weird and mostly concerned about minding their buisness, depending on ppl for their benefits....except a few

Dude gemini and pisces rarely work together...im a pisces myself and had asked the first love of my life out...n she started hating me for that...she also was a gemini!

betw if she says that ur crazy..tell her "yes i was, but not anymore.."
she was playing games wid u. im sure she must be seeing someone else. Move on. Someone somewhere is waiting 4 u!

Remember...the loss is all hers...TRUST ME. U GONNA GET A BETTER GIRL....and when she's gonna see you with a better girl, she'll realise what she's lost!

Glad · #10 (**permalink**) 09-27-2008, 05:54 PM

I know this is not what you want to hear, but please leave her alone. Don't text or call or talk to her at all. If she is in the same place you are, just politely nod and turn away and ignore her. ANYTHING you do now will be considered 'stalking' by her so you have to do nothing. I'm serious. She has gently let you go...she has broken up with you (for whatever reason) and you need to respect her decision and completely let it go now.

Honestly, just because you're no longer her cup of tea doesn't mean the one who is right for you isn't right around the corner. Stop trying to communicate with her and she will at least be grateful and respect that. She will also appreciate that you didn't force her (by being so persistent) to say something mean to you. She doesn't want to hurt you, or talk to you at all....

Chances are, you won't get back together...but you won't be made a fool of and become a stalker either...you're better than that aren't you?

maiabell2 · #11 (**permalink**) 09-30-2008, 05:54 PM

This sounds a lot like a relationship I had with a guy, so trust me I know what she is thinking. Yes women want guys to be sweet and treat them right, but at the same time you can't be an ass kisser and you can wait on then hand and foot, its just unattractive. Guys need to be a little mysterious too and don't act like you care so much about her that your obsessed, its just creepy. Truth is, girl are more attracted to jerks, just don't be to big of one. Also you should giver her more space, which also will help you to not look so desperate. No girl wants their boyfriend to be calling them all the time, following them around everywhere, and always wanting to be with them. If you act like you have your own stuff to do too, and have some more boys nights, she will respect you more. If you ever wanna get back with her, DO NOT PRESSUSRE IT! I started dating this really cute guy a little ago and he kept asking what I thought of him and if this was going anywhere. I ended it quickly, it was just annoying. I hope I helped you. Good Luck.

kate. · #12 (**permalink**) 10-04-2008, 05:54 PM

Lots of things to deal with here. First, for only 3.5 months, you seem to be way clingy and fell into her hard too fast. It seems like she was feeling smothered and did want to remain friends once the breakup was over. Then you started pushing and stalking and pushing and it became annoying to her and she said forget it all together. That's your part.

The second and most important part is that she is a girl who likes drama. She is one of those who will call the cops of her boyfriend, watch him be taken to jail, and then 15 minutes later, she's bailing him out. You are a totally different guy than what truly attracts her. You are sweet, kind, and give your heart whereas she likes the yelling, screaming, and fighting relationships the best. She was being truthful in that you were too good for her. She likes but tholes and that's it.

Let this one go, Hon. Better that it ended now than months or even years down the line. Some people you just don't need to be with.

Good luck!

Tutu · #13 (**permalink**) 10-08-2008, 05:54 PM

in my country we say: Dyana Azov blaze! which means leave it alone man.

Reality · #14 (**permalink**) 10-13-2008, 05:54 PM

i think the important thing here is u are trying to deal with it. a lot of times when someone finds themselves in a position like this they spend an incredible amount of time in denial. good for u!

there are some key factors here. listen to what she's said...crazy person? does not want to be frenzy... she's text's u instead of talking w/u becks she does not want to hear the responses u might have to what she has to say. overall, it sounds like initially she was trying to be nice becks she didn't want to hurt u, but as u persisted she has been forced to be more blunt. space seems to be the key factor here. u really need to back off and give her what she asked for and is now demanding.

as to whether or not she will speak to u again... that really depends on Ur behavior. if u continue to harass her, probably not... but if u let go and try to move on, given that u have the same social circles, eventually (and only time will tell) she might feel comfortable enough around u to mend that bridge. but the key factor here is giving it time and not expecting anything from her. she's got a lot going emotionally now too, and the fact is u are not her priority anymore and u should never make anyone a priority that treats u as an option.

take a step back, reevaluate Ur priorities, and realize what she has to offer now is not what u require or need and there is something better for u out there. everyone is entitled to be happy.

take care and good luck!