I need breakup advice...?

phantom · #1 (**permalink**) 06-26-2010, 07:14 PM

Ok so my now ex girlfriend and I bought a cat together when we got our apt last year when we moved to AZ from CT. She left and went back to CT in early September and I've now decided this 4 years relationship just needs to end. Now she's causing drama she wants to borrow money from family to drive out here and pick up the cat and the rest of her things. Do I let her just take the cat even though it means the world to me? Do I let her just come out here whenever she wants even if I'm not home? I don't know how to calm her down even though at first she agreed ed that it was time to break up but has now changed her mind. She is just off the wall and being irrational. I don't know what to do... Help.
Oh and not that it matters but I am also a girl.

BKAYCHICKXDD · #2 (**permalink**) 07-01-2010, 07:14 PM

First of all, keep the cat! Change your locks before she comes back into town. Pack up all of her personal property...all of it....either ship it to her or give her notice to come pick it up. let her get her things while you or someone you trust is there. Make sure the cat is at another persons house. Keep the cat!
if she really wanted the cat she would have taken it the first time.

Dr. Bob · #3 (**permalink**) 07-05-2010, 07:14 PM

well if you want to keep the cat, dint let her take it. no she can and should not come to your place whenever she wants. have her name taken off the lease(if your renting) and change the locks. let her come get her stuff and have a police officer there while she is gathering her stuff to make sure she doesn't try to pull something crazy.

Michael Y · #4 (**permalink**) 07-07-2010, 07:14 PM

Too much drama. Share custody of the cat.

pinknredmarkers · #5 (**permalink**) 07-11-2010, 07:14 PM

I'll send you my cat in a heartbeat...

No, she can't just go whenever you are not there, although it might be best if you guys don't see each other. If you have someone that can keep an eye on her when you are not there so that she doesn't take things that are not hers, then so be it. If you can't, then be there yourself, don't let her get started on anything, let her take the cat if that will calm her down and get her to not stalk you, and please change your locks after everything is done.

You can also keep the cat, but you're not gonna get her out of the picture anytime soon. It's either your cat or your emotional health.

Twoicys · #6 (**permalink**) 07-14-2010, 07:14 PM

If you bought the cat together and she left without staking a claim to the cat, I would say the cat belongs to you. You are the one who has been providing for the cat for the past few months. If you really want to break up with her, tell her you will send her personal belongings and offer to help pay for another cat.

x No.1 Prison Break Fan x · #7 (**permalink**) 07-19-2010, 07:14 PM

if it takes giving her the cat to get rid of her do it....there are plenty of other cats at the shelter that need homes....(just not mine Adhara)....and whatever you do, don't let her in the house if you aren't there and if you think she may show her a*SS have a cop there to supervise the removal of her thing...they won't mind....explain the situation to them...that's what your tax dollars pay for....but give her what she won't and bid her good riddance

Katrina C · #8 (**permalink**) 07-20-2010, 07:14 PM

first off she left you, you didn't chose for her to leave. as for the cat, she left it behind, you are the owner now, it is called abandonment.

as for her coming to get her stuff, either you need to pack it up and send it to her or let her come and get her stuff but make sure she shows up with police escort. that way if things get ugly they can intervene. whatever you do do not let her in your place without you being there, if you have to change the locks do so.