How to Get Your Ex Back - Follow These Proven Steps to Get Your Ex Back Into Your Life

The most important first step to getting your ex back

The most important step in getting back with your ex is to initiate no contact immediately. I mean right this very second! This is the first and most crucial step to winning your ex back. No contact means absolutely no texting, no calling, no emailing and no drunk dialing. This should last a minimum of four weeks. I know most of you might be feeling despair, depressed, unable to sleep or eat, a complete loss of joy, and constantly obsessing over what your ex is doing and why they broke up with you. I know this is a very rough time for you, but you must fight every urge to contact your ex starting right now!

Why?

There are several reasons why this counter intuitive step will help you get your ex back. The first reason is that being clingy and begging your ex will only push them away even more. This is true for all people. You might think you can convince him/her because after all, you were their boyfriend/girlfriend just the other day right? They must have some feelings for you still right? You both may have been in love in the past, but the fact is that your ex no longer feels the same about you, and they wouldn't have broken up with you if they did. That doesn't mean they can never love you like they did, in fact quite the contrary. But if you want chance at getting your ex back you must not contact them. Remember they do not feel the same about you right now, and being needy, clingy and a beggar will only push your ex further and further away.

Another reason why no contact will help you get your ex back is it will get your ex thinking about you again. This is a strong psychological trigger that will your ex wondering about you. Humans are hard-wired to be attracted to those things that are hard to get and are scarce. This creates value in the object (In this case you!). What we are trying to do is to get your ex to be attracted to you again. If they know that you are still crazy about them and that you'll be there at any time in case they need you, then you won't have any luck in getting your ex back for good. If you do not contact them for at least a month, you will create mystery in your ex's mind you will slowly start to gain value in their eyes. Remember, this is true for all humans on a psychological level.

What to do during your no contact period

Now that your not going to contact your ex for at least 4 weeks, you need to utilize this period to work on yourself. Your confidence might be at an all time low after the breakup so now is the time to get back on your feet. Laying around feeling sorry for yourself all day will get you no where. When it's time to finally contact your ex you need to be a confident, fun and happy person much like you were at the beginning of your relationship. Remember, if you want any chance in getting your ex back you need to be a genuinely better more confident you than you were at the end of your relationship. Your also want to figure out what caused the break up. When your hard work and planning of getting your ex back pays off you don't want to make the same mistakes that caused your ex to lose interest in the first place do you?

Getting your confidence back: There are plenty of things you can start doing now to rebuild your old confident you. Ultimately you need to get out and have fun! Go out with your friends, meet new people, and go on dates. Believe it or not going on a few dates will be the biggest boost to your confidence. The other thing you want to do is get a fresh new look. New clothes and a haircut will make you even more attracted to your ex when she/he sees you for the first time. You want them to know how well you have been doing since the breakup. This will he a powerful impact on your ex when you do finally see them again.

Assess what went wrong: There is a definite reason why your ex broke up with you. Maybe you know exactly what you did, if that's the case you need to assess how you are going to change so that it won't happen again. Most of you reading this probably don't know the real reason why your ex broke up. Most breakups occur because your ex noticed a change in your behavior which over time made her/him loose enough interest. Most common behavioral issues that lead to your partner loosing interest: acting jealous, being needy, lack of excitement, loss of passion etc. The list goes on and on but it's up to you to figure out what behavior changed in you so that when you reconnect with your ex it won't happen again.

Time to reconnect

Now that you've successfully not contacted your ex for at least a month and your out having fun and enjoying your new single life, it's time to contact your ex. It is quite possible that by this point you may not even want to get back with your ex, however you won't know for sure until you take the steps outlined above. They easiest way to contact your ex is to simply call your ex and invite them for something that doesn't sound like a date, something casual like lunch or coffee. Since they haven't heard from you for so long they will most likely agree out of pure curiosity. Remember humans are hard-wired to fall for these psychological triggers. Here are some basic outlines to consider when reconnecting with your ex.

Don't bring up the breakup. Bringing up the breakup will cause negative feelings your ex has associated with you. avoid it at all costs. You want to make it seem like you've moved on and you are no longer bothered by it. If your ex happens to bring it up that's fine. Just remember you want to avoid arguing, just remain calm and listen to what they have to say.

Smile. This may sound silly but you must remember to smile! A lot! This sends a clear message to your ex how happy and confident you've been since the break up. It will also make your ex feel happy and in a good mood because your energy will be contagious. This will help you out tremendously.

Keep the conversation light. Remember you are not with your ex so don't talk or act like it. This will only make them feel awkward and all your hard planning will go out the window. You want to treat your ex like an old friend or act how you would when you went on your first couple of dates with this person. A little flirting is fine but make sure you watch their reaction and make any adjustments accordingly.

The final steps to getting your ex back

If you've made it this far things are looking pretty good for you. After your first contact wait a few days to contact them again. Who knows they might even contact you first! (That's a good sign!) If not call your ex and ask them out on a fun date. If you've done everything right so far your ex won't mind hanging out with you. By now they are probably wondering why you are so happy and why you don't seem bothered by the break up. They will start to question whether or not they made a mistake in breaking up with you in the first place. For the date you want to go for something more adventurous than dinner and a movie. Going to a live comedy show, sporting event, miniature golf or even an amusement park are just a few great examples of the dates you should plan. Doing something new and exciting will spark your ex's old excitement and interest she/he used to feel for you. If your ex agreed to a second date then you are well on your way to getting your ex back in your arms!

Want to know additional tips and secrets to successfully get your ex back?
Just a few examples of what you can expect from my suggested resources:

Exactly what to say or not say when you make that first phone call
What to do if your ex contacts you first
Exactly what to say and do on your first outing with your ex
Important things you must do on your first date!
What do you do if your ex says no to a meetup?
What to do if you work with your ex?
What if children are involved

All these questions and more will be answered in two ebooks that I personally recommend. I have searched for and read every ebook, article, book, blog and expert video on this topic and these two sources are by far the most accurate and complete.

Hi,
I read your views and they are pretty good, but i want to add some more points in that-
1. It is not always better to wait to cool down the matter, it grows the thinking that our partner doesn't need us.
2. If the matter or issue is leading to breaking up relation then it must be very big issue so it is better to have an advice of good relationship-counselor.
3. On contrary might be possible that the issue can be solved easily.
Can get some points on
jcchristiancounseling.com