What Most People Don't Realise About Breaking Up

1 in 3 people in the United States, and 1 in 2 people in continental Europe will go through a break up at some point in their lives. Break ups are tough, they often seem to come out of the blue, and many of us struggle to deal with them in a mature and reasoned manner. Often allowing our emotions to take complete control over the situation, which is always a big mistake, particularly if you want to get your ex back.

Young people are by far the most adept at dealing with break ups, going through them many times during their adolescence, sometimes as often as once a year. However, despite this, many people still have difficulties working out what actually happened in the relationship, and find it difficult to pin-point the actual route cause of the break up. Which will in turn, lead them to make the same mistakes over and over again in the future.

Lack of Attraction

This is the number one cause of all break ups, no doubt about it. You may be thinking to yourself "that's not right Steve, my girlfriend left me because I didn't spend enough time with her" or "my boyfriend left me because I took him for granted", etc. These may be truths, but no matter how bad a relationship gets or how many mistakes you make, as long as there is attraction that couple will invariable stay together. Attraction is a VERY strong bond, but once that attraction has gone, there is very little left that will keep you together.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend may well have been happy to put up with your bad habits while the attraction was strong, but once it goes these issues and flaws (that we all have) will only add more fuel to the fire.

You need to keep the relationship fresh to BUILD and MAINTAIN the attraction levels:

Don't let yourself go, keep on top of your appearance
Don't let things become boring, be spontaneous, suggest new and exciting things for you both to do
Keep the sex interesting, don't be afraid to try new things

Lack of Communication

A relationship is a fragile bound, held together by trust, attraction and love. Over time people start to take their partner for granted. As time goes by and the honeymoon period of the relationship passes, it's more crucial than ever to communicate your feelings to your partner. Think of a relationship like a garden, but instead of water and sunlight, your relationship needs honesty and communication to flourish. Once a couple stops communicating, without intervention, the end is nearly always in sight, and like a garden without water and sunlight, that relationship will slowly wither away and die.

You need to communicate with your partner DAILY on:

What your plans are for the day/week/month/year
What you find attractive in them
Conflict resolution, talk through any issues that arise

Don't let this area of your life suffer because you were too afraid to open up and discuss the things that make you happy or the things that make you unhappy in your relationship... It's too important. And please remember, it's never too late to put things right and to get on the right path. It's never too late to open up and communicate with your partner or with your ex.

All situations are different. Sometimes breakups are no problem especially for those that actually want it. The difficulty is when people do not want it. Sometimes neither party wants it but they don't understand why they cannot be together or how to be together.
I think one perpetual problem is people are looking for the right partner, and it is just an illusion.