Really weird issue with a guy I'm dating...help from mature adults only please?

Super Asian · #1 (**permalink**) 08-27-2010, 05:19 PM

This may be a little lengthy, but I am so lost as to what to do here. I'm dating this guy. I'm 23, he's 29. Things are going great, except one thing...he apparently has something personal against any foreplay beyond kissing. He seems to think he can jump from cuddles to sex.

Seriously, on our most recent date, I took his hand and put it where I wanted it. Hoping for a little stimulation so we could move on to more. And his reaction was "Oh, no...I don't do that. Only penis goes there. Not fingers." And I freaked. He claims it's because he doesn't want his hands anywhere "near where people pee."

So, I don't find this normal at all. He says he'll work on it, and he'd better or else it's over. I don't think I'm being too selfish here. So basically, my question is....any suggestions on how I can somehow make this more appealing to him? And no, it's not just that he's not ready for sex. He wants that. Just doesn't want to do anything to get me ready for it.
Oh, to make it clear, he hasn't gotten sex out of me yet. I'm withholding that until I get what I want. The only reason I'm giving him a chance to improve is because, other than this one problem, he's great. Believe me, I won't put up with it long. He is 29 for goodness sakes.

smyliekylie_86 · #2 (**permalink**) 08-30-2010, 05:19 PM

Weird, immature, selfish. You're a fool if you put up with a guy like this.

ariam · #3 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 05:19 PM

I think you need to have a little more serious of a conversation with him tell him that you need aroused before you just jump into having sex go to a sex store and buy somethings that will help its kinda weird subject to tell someone you don't know Lil but try lubes that's taste good or anything fun you think he might enjoy good luck with that one girl you need it =]]

queenoftheoakies · #4 (**permalink**) 09-04-2010, 05:19 PM

Sorry, this guy sounds like Felix Unger, OK if you don't know who that is it is NOT a good person to be with, have a relationship with. He's more concerned about what kind of clock you have rather than what time it is. See? He's annul, beyond that, he is a NUT case. MOVE on. ASAP.

dolphyns2000 · #5 (**permalink**) 09-07-2010, 05:19 PM

You need to have a serious discussion with this man. He doesn't want his hand near where someone pees but yet expects you to put the part of his body with which he pees inside another person. That just is not a fair trade - not to mention extremely unpleasant for the other party being used essentially as a device to get himself off. My suggestion is to get him a book about female sexuality and get him to read it. If he refuses make it very clear the sex stops until he sorts it out. If he doesn't like that or doesn't want to do that then the relationship is over. You as a sexual woman deserve the sex you want not the sex he demands off you. He's 29 not 15!