female advice on an affair please?

smoggy999 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 05:48 PM

I dont need any rubbish on the rights or wrongs. The fact is I'm in an affair with a married woman 3 kids I'm married with 2. We've known each other for about 10 years but this has only started in last few months. We are both 40yrs old. People who never have had an affair don't know about falling in love again with someone else...if you've never experienced it it's hard to given an opinion. We are deeply in love and grown together over the years. I want advice from women in similar positions into what will not ruin this and keep it real, i can be impatient and worry too much re: out of sight out of mind . I don't want to scare her off but don't want her to think i'm taking her for granted either. Thanks

Valerie · #2 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 08:04 PM

Kiss your family GOOD-Bye is all I can say!

Linda · #3 (**permalink**) 12-12-2008, 03:16 PM

You both need to be honest with your spouses. It just isn't fair to them. Get your divorces and go on with your lives. If your kids somehow find out that you have been cheating on the other parent they will never speak to you again. You need to both be honest. I know you don't want to hear about it but sorry to bad. It is just worng for you your spouse and most of all your children. If nothing else matters to you then think of your kids and stop thinking of yourselves and your own feelings.

Shell · #4 (**permalink**) 12-18-2008, 04:10 AM

It is wrong and I have been there before!! First you have to end the relationships that you both are in right now! You have to stop seeing her until you and her both get divorces. And you both need to stop and think about the people that you are hurting and how it would feel to be in their shoes when they find out.

queenfairy1 · #5 (**permalink**) 12-19-2008, 07:11 PM

What won't ruin it and keep it real? Don't let your spouses find out for one. The out of site out of mind thing when your with your wife is the other woman out of your mind? OK then. My question is ; IF YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEN WHY DONT YOU LEAVE YOUR SPOUSES? I think that you would be doing them a favor, can you imagine being in the dark for so long about something like this?

hurtand still in love · #6 (**permalink**) 12-24-2008, 09:46 AM

Well if you want to say goodbye to a woman who is devoted to you and the respect of your kids for a homewrecking whore...go ahead!!!! Same goes for her, start thinking with your head and not your dick man!!

Khandi · #7 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 02:55 PM

People say we can't help who we fall in love with, but it takes more than a glance to start having feelings.If a person is married, you shouldn't have no more to say but"hi"and"bye", no phone calls, meeting, dinners, lunches, etc...none of that..It leads to problems like this and have you torn between two people and yourself.I wouldn't tell her how you feel. what's the point? Would it change anything? She knows you feel something, but leave it at that.I mean you are going to do as you please...but why continue to add fuel to a burning fire.

Rachel R · #8 (**permalink**) 03-06-2009, 09:01 AM

A woman who cheats on her husband is a cheater. She will cheat on you, you will cheat on her, or one or both of you will just get suspicious, and everything will be ruined. So the affair will eventually make you miserable.That's all I can tell a sociopath like you. You obviously don't care about the good of your or your mistress'kids. However, your wife would be better off without you, since you have no respect for her.You see, with normal people, morality is inescapable.I say, dump your woman, show up on your mistress'doorstep with $5000, and take her to Guatemala, never to return. In the long run, your kids might thank you, too, for getting your slimy influence out of their house, provided they're old enough to condemn and revile you for your behavior. That's what I did when my dad walked out.He thought he wasn't doing anything wrong, too.

nicki · #9 (**permalink**) 03-23-2009, 01:00 PM

You need to stop and think like a 40 year old man, which woman do you really love your wife or your lover. if you feel it's your wife than stop seeing this other woman , if it's the other woman than hit the Divorce courts , but remember 2 children you'll have to paychild support maybe spousal support and would this other woman want to live with someone that is not going to bring home all his money because quite a sum will be missing.

clinton s · #10 (**permalink**) 05-16-2009, 08:06 AM

5 children involved and you do not want to hear about the wrong or rights? very sad for them they are victims for your pleasure.

shoresofshells · #11 (**permalink**) 05-19-2009, 08:40 PM

When you marry and have children you make a commitment to devote your life to the happiness of those that love you and are your family.You need to ask this woman if she even wants to make a life with you. Married cheaters generally do not really want to disrupt their"normal"life for their lover.Tell her you will not continue the realtionship/affair. That you two should not see each other again until you are both divorced/seperated. If this is real love you will both divorce.If not, at least you can let your wife move on and find someone really committed and respectful.I would not be surprised if your"other woman"decides to stay with her husband. You could be her male booty-call.Be careful. You have done enought damage so far. Should not have put yourself in this situation.

ema · #12 (**permalink**) 05-20-2009, 01:30 AM

first of all what a hard situation to be in,if you love this other woman then you must be truthful to your wife and leave you will never be able to relax properly with either of them your mind will always be on somthing else we only get one life hun and to waste it in limbo all the time is a shame follow your heart you carnt live like this forever though you need to sort it soon,hope it turns out for you but the longer you leave it the harder it will be no one can tell you what to do you have to make the descitions good luck.