Female AdviceDo you want to know what ticks inside a woman's mind? Curious to know what the girl you are dating may be thinking? How about wanting to do something that might be hit or miss so you'd like to have a lady give you some insight first. This is the place where girl talk is heard about everyone.
Ok, here's the deal, I am originally from Tucson, Az. I left my parents house when I was 19(May 2006) and I ended up moving to Phoenix, Az(Nov. 2006) I ended up meeting the girlfriend I'm with now New Years Eve of 2007. We ended up getting together in Feb of this year. In August of this year we moved back to Tucson, we are currently living with my brother and cousin which is across the street from my parents and sisters and next door to them are my grand-parents. We moved down here so I can pursue my career in the Law-Enforcement. I finally got a job about a year and a half ago and my girlfriend recently got a job. Well now she's pregnant, which isn't a bad thing, we both want this. But the problem is, is that she doesn't like it here in Tucson because for 1. she's away from her family. And for 2. she doesn't like living in this house because she doesn't get along with my brother and cousin. She initially agreed to stay here with me and we'd stick it out til we got our own apartment so she wouldn't have to put up with it here anymore. But now she's saying she doesn't wanna stay here anymore because she misses her family and she want's to be with and around them. She thinks I'm being selfish because I'm not thinking of her feelings and the baby, and I'm wanting to stay her to pursue my career. But at the same time I feel she's being selfish because she can't bare making an hour and a half drive every few weeks to visit her family, because she doesn't want to miss out on family night, and family outings and her brothers sporting events and yada yada. So am I supposed to just give up what I have here and give her her way? And then try starting my career there? I know I'd be unhappy there just like she's unhappy here. She also says she wants to go back because she doesn't trust day-cares and her aunt does day-care and it'll be dirt cheap for us, she wants to go back to school(which she could do here) and she also wants a desk job(which she could also find here if she just opened her eyes). I tell her it takes time and patience, she can't just expect everything to be given to her, jobs just don't pop up. But in the long run, I need to know what I should do because now she's saying she's going back pretty much regardless of whether or not I go(and she knows it'd break us cuz I won't stay with her if she does go back). So do I stay and break us up or make her happy and go just to keep our family together. And yes I know someone is bound to ask whether or not I love her, and the answer is yes, I love her with all my heart, but I'm now stuck between a rock and a hard place...So, WTF...What do I do? lol...any help will be GREATLY appreciated.Thanks,Kamran
there are plenty of different responses to this question but my best one would be compromise ... why dont you guys get a place in between yours and hers. it would be hard but she would be closer to her suppport network (she is preggers now - she will need one) and you will stay closer to yours. encourage her by saying the word compromise ... a half way point would be good for both of you. and i know this isnt going to be comforting but if you cant agree on this now - early in the relationship then later on is going to be pretty tough. especially with a baby on the way. get settled before the baby comes - it will be alot less stress then if you wait till her hormones are even more out of whack becuase then you will have no say. relationships are tough and it takes work - but if you love her you will figure it out....everything tends to work out the way it is supposed to i promise.
don't just assume stuff, you owe it to her you have to move with her because : 1. she's pregnant and she needs her mom and family around her, i know u can take care of her but u are not enough she needs female care around her (mom, aunt...)2. you should try moving there and try to find a job and help in every way u can until u find it useless there then u can think about getting back to whereever u r now.3. don't ruin what u have apparently u too are in love, this is only a temporary thing so both of you must work it out, u know some times u have to sacrifice stuff and be sure that other times she will do the same4. be supportive and passionate, u r about to start a family, u wanna be there for your soon to be born childgood luck
Classic example of why couples that are not married should use protection!!!Unfortunately, she probably wants to be close to her parents because of the pregnancy. If she truly loves you, she would try to stick it out with you there, until you could find a another job there or be transferred by your company. Tell her to give you some time to see what is available in Phoenix before she makes this drastic move. Maybe you could agree on something in between Tucson and Phoenix, so the drive would not be so long for her. Preganat women can not take long drives in later months of pregnancy without being n pain, usually.
Well, if it is only an hour and a half between both of your preferences...you should try it from her point. A baby is a greater responsibility that a job, and she has obviously tried to make it work from your end. If she hates where she is and is pregnant....she needs to be comfortable. Go with her and YOU comute for YOUR career. An hour and a half is not torture if it is what you want to do. She needs support and is obviously not getting it in the current situation. If she is giving you the ultimatum...she is fed up. Open your eyes and decide if you want to be with her or without her. She sounds like she is moving on either way.
You are in a pretty crappy situation. But you said you love her...which means you two have to work it out. And long distance relationships aren't the best (especially with a baby on the way!) I think that since the distance is only an hour and a half from where you are and where she wants to be, maybe you guys can find a place to live in the middle. Then it's only 45 minutes to either parent. Good luck...and Congrats on the baby!
I Need Some Female Advice Please?
