Need some sound female advice?

Tix · #1 (**permalink**) 12-24-2008, 02:09 AM

Back in August I met this girl and we hit it off real good. We started hanging out almost everyday and we were just extremely close friends. In December I told her I had feelings for her and she said she was willing to try us out. I soon found out through someone else that she had gotten out of a 4 year relationship that ended pretty bad right before I met her. I could tell things were troubling her so I asked her. She said it has nothing to do with me or how she feels for the ex, but she needs to be single. She says at this point I don't think I can commit and she can't tell anything about the future. She says if its meant to be it will just happen and that I should make decision that are best for ME right now. So we split and haven't talked nearly as much anymore, because I respected her need for space. I feel so neglected now after everything we shared and now we don't even talk. What should I do. My feelings for her are very strong.

my- life -uncut · #2 (**permalink**) 03-23-2009, 06:48 AM

you were a rebound... it didnt work for her, so you just have to let her go she needs more time to clear her head.a rule of thumb for breakups that i heard however was 1 day of mourning for every week that you dated. maybe she'll be ready soon.

Sarah · #3 (**permalink**) 05-28-2009, 07:12 PM

First thing you need to do is some self-evaluation. What can you deal with? Is it going to be too painful to see her and want her and love her and never be anything but her friend? Or, can you put your feelings on a back shelf and truly be just a friend?Right now, you have two choices. Be her friend, or, back off. Backing off might minimize the pain for you. Being her friend will probably never turn into more. But if there's any possibility that she will ever want you, she will have to realize it on her own when you've stuck by her through thick and thin over a long time, and she already knows you want her, and she realizes you offer her more love and commitment than anything else she's been chasing.But she's been in a relationship for 4 years. It had to be a painful breakup after so long. She doesn't want to get sucked into anything else which might end painfully again. She also wants to enjoy some freedom and explore her possibilities before committing to just one. She needs to be single right now. If you remain her friend, you might eventually have a slight chance. If you back off, it might be easier for you.

bluegreen · #4 (**permalink**) 07-20-2011, 01:15 AM

up