Your advice on what to do next concerning alcoholic friend?

Dee Dee C · #1 (**permalink**) 12-23-2008, 05:01 AM

I have a friend who FINALLY agreed to check into a hospital - and under the condition that I would watch his house and his dogs for him. I've never really had to be a part of any one's life that's gone through re-hab. (And this is his SECOND attempt - the first time he was 2 1/2 years clean before falling off). Will you give me ideas of things I need to be aware of once he's gotten through treatment to help him. I know he's asked if I would come to some of his counceling....I just don't know what to expect.Any thoughts would be appreciated (Along with prayers if you're Christian! :-) )

aWellWisher · #2 (**permalink**) 12-23-2008, 05:44 PM

He will need a company in which people are teetotaller, amongst many other things. Like, it will help to keep busy, develop a hobby and spend some time for charity.I will pray for him, although I am not christian.Good luck!

mlgable · #3 (**permalink**) 12-28-2008, 12:25 AM

There is nothing you need to be aware of so to speak that I can think of. Just remember that this is a terrible disease and that the only way he can beat it is to know in his mind that he can never ever touch another drop of alcohol. If he doesn't get that type of mindset he will never beat it. Keep his house just as he likes it and take good care of his dogs. As for his counseling sessions you will be there to listen pretty much of the time so just be supportive.

laultimaneurona · #4 (**permalink**) 02-25-2009, 09:42 PM

First, remember that it is his responsibility to stay sober, not yours to keep him so. That being said, he needs all the help he can get. You can try to keep temptation out of his way, so try to find activities that compensate for the social life, excitement or distractions ( whatever the case) he will miss when he´s not drinking. Sports and exercise will help him relax and bond, try something outdoors, like hiking or bicycle riding. He will probably have to remake his social circle, so including him in your social calendar in a casual way is going to keep him busy without him having the feeling that he´s being babysit-ted. Finally, if you are part of a congregation, you can invite him to join you there. About counseling... usually these counselors are very experienced in dealing with situation, so you can call ahead and ask about the specifics ( individual or group therapy, if there is going to be some kind of confrontation, the duration, etc.) and what is expected of you, then you´ll know if you are up for it. And off course, I´ll pray for you both ( these things can take a toll on you)

Donna I · #5 (**permalink**) 05-16-2009, 03:09 PM

I don't really think you need to'do'anything special. Just being there should be enough. Staying clean is his choice and his burden. Of course, don't drink when you're around him.Go to counseling or AA meetings with him. It will be very educational for you. I learned a lot going with a friend.Don't take too much of it upon yourself. He's going to go through a very difficult time by the sound of it, and while you can be supportive, no one can do it for him. He's got to do it for himself.Good luck to you and your friend.