How can I help my friend and myself through this rough time?

yokiamah · #1 (**permalink**) 12-24-2008, 11:31 AM

My ex-bf and still long time friend wants to kill himself back in Michigan. I'm in California, in a current 6yr r/ship with a bf who isn't in love with me. But he cares. (slightly emotionally unhealthy r/ship). I'm planning a vacation to michigan on 4/24. My ex wants to see me and I know he wants to convince me to stay in Michigan with him, where he even offered to"forego"his dicision to help me land back on my feet. It is a risky but it would be a way for me to break out of this cycle with my current man and start life anew. I just don't know if I should--the circumstances seem so unwell! Do I give up a 7yr life I buildt in Cali to help/be with my suicidel ex??? Possibly for love and happiness?? Ugh. I'm going nuts! Thanks everyone for your perspectives.

sh0b1z · #2 (**permalink**) 12-25-2008, 02:45 PM

U cant

Sunflower · #3 (**permalink**) 12-28-2008, 03:53 AM

If it were me, I'd move back and work things out with my ex, you say you and your current man aren't doing so good and he doesn't love you and your ex does love you and seems to need someone to care about so he has a meaning in life, If I had to choose between a man who doesn't love me and a life I built or a ex who cares and needs someone and I have to start all over, I'd choose the Ex, we only live once and we need to just jump at opportunity's, especially to help others, pray about this, God will give you your answer, follow your heart...God bless

mandinwages · #4 (**permalink**) 01-08-2009, 11:04 AM

The first question you have to ask yourself is why did you leave your ex in the first place?

mompoo · #5 (**permalink**) 05-17-2009, 04:34 PM

The kind of behavior your ex is showing is called manipulative behavior. If that's the kind of relationship you want, well....it's up to you.

jmb35_1999 · #6 (**permalink**) 05-19-2009, 03:20 AM

Okay, you want to leave one unhealthly relationship to get into another potential unhealthy relationship. If the guy is suicidal he needs to get over his issues before he gets with anyone. It really sounds like he is relationship dependent and you also. Let got of both of them and do it yourself honey. If you didn't really know what to do you would not come on this site to ask. Your first mind is telling you no but by the same token it is also telling you no to your current boyfriend also. So you need ot stop being in that crippled relationship and get some guts. Don't be afraid to go it alone for while. I have a poem that I wrote if you want to hear it just let me know.

osunmilaya · #7 (**permalink**) 05-25-2009, 08:30 AM

Please tell me how your happiness will be increased by taking care of a desperate, suicidal friend without assistance or social supports. If you think you're going nuts now, this feeling could possibly be increased dramatically. That doesn't sound like much of a vacation. It does sound like you care about both of the guys, but it's now time about caring for yourself. Since when did what you're contemplating become a GOOD option? Please go talk to someone about this.

shiva007 · #8 (**permalink**) 08-23-2011, 04:14 AM

never leave your best friends.