New friend advice PLEASE!!!?

loseit · #1 (**permalink**) 12-25-2008, 03:37 PM

have a semi new friend who I just adore. All my other friends have moved away and she is a new friend so I want to do whatever I can to keep this friendship healthy and balanced. I listen to her problems hours on end. And she can freak over the weirdest things. To me they are sometimes so ridiculous but I listen attentively anyways. If I have a problem with someone she will never listen she just defends them no matter what they did to me even if she doesn't know them. It's really annoying . When she tells me about how someone upset her I never defend the other person. I don't take sides I just try to see it through her eyes. Yesterday I had asked for some advice about an email I was writing to a family member and she completely picked the email apart, going overboard and making me feel shitty. She started getting stressed so I just said thanks for the advice and dropped it before she started freaking out on me. How do I deal with this? She wants me to always be the happy fun person?She has a very powerful personality and can be a bit overbearing. Nonetheless she I still like her.

cally w · #2 (**permalink**) 12-29-2008, 08:17 AM

From what i can gather, it seems as if this person will not become the friend you want them to be. There are many people like this in the world and they are generally takers rather than givers. I understand that with women especially its quite necessery to take sides with the persons with whom you are friends with (unless you are looking to give them some perspective) so the fact that she is not suggests that she is trying to bring your confidence down and that she is quite a seld-centered person. Whilst you may want to try this new friendship out, i suggest you dont put all your eggs in one basket and join some hobby groups or friendship internet site to find new friends that care about you.

Monterey · #3 (**permalink**) 01-08-2009, 05:03 AM

She is selfish, and not what I would consider to be a good friend. She's sounds like it's just all about her. If you want to remain a sounding board for her, and then have her be critical of you and what you do, then have at it. You say she is a semi new friend and you adore her? How can one adore someone that is critical of their friend? She wants you to always be the happy fun person??? Sounds like she wants you to jump through hoops for her, just to make her happy. Inform her, it's not all about her. I wouldn't tolerate this"friendship"if you want to call it that for very long.

div · #4 (**permalink**) 05-17-2009, 07:20 PM

If there is no proper, there cannot exist friendship.Soon you will realize.Have friendship for the sake of friendship, not out of compulsion. Wait till you get true friends.