I need relationship advice, please help!?

Finn · #1 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 01:34 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He treats me so good, he is truly one of the nicest people I've ever met and he is by far one of the best boyfriends I've ever had. The problem comes in though when it comes to our intimacy. We hardly ever have sex, we don't even make out. The last couple of times that we've had sex I stopped it because it just wasn't working for me. We don't have that passion where we're all over eachother. I know that sex isn't the most important part of a relationship but it's a big thing to me. I feel like you have to have that to have a healthy relationship. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life without sex. What can we do? It bothers both of us and we've talked about it a million times, it's no secret that it's the problem area of our relationship. I'm confused, don't know what to do because I think my frustration comes out on him in other ways. I'm 31 by the way. Help!

chicago hunny · #2 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 02:47 PM

maybe inside you just see him as a friend nothin Else

KG... · #3 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 05:30 PM

You did not say how old is he. Does he have a problem with that? If so, consult a doctor if you both really love each other. Counseling or a physical check up might help.

Mr O · #4 (**permalink**) 12-10-2008, 01:28 AM

Help with what? sex? It's easy, get naked and have him stick it in and thrust for a few minutes. If sex is that important than find some intamacy games, or dice with sex positions on it - roll the dice and do the position...maybe that would be neat not knowing what position you do!! Or, just have sex like EVERY DAY!!! what's the problem here? Or if sex is that important and you two aren't into it with each other...then...time to find someone who satisfies you sexually...him too.

confusedude · #5 (**permalink**) 12-10-2008, 11:00 AM

oh noes, how can you be sexually dysfunctional at 31? How old is the guy? wat was the"problem'?by"talked about it", i assume u meant how to make it work and why has nt it worked (?)anyways, I suggest you buy a dildo and some adult dvds. test it on urself, see wat works for you and guide him from there.Sex is a huge part on a relationship btw. theres no shame to say that my relationship doesnt work out without sex.

Gypsy Red · #6 (**permalink**) 12-11-2008, 05:56 AM

Have you discussed with him what turns you on and how you like things during sex. If you haven't, maybe he doesn't know. If you are having a problem getting him aroused maybe he needs to see a doctor. My husband and I went to a sex therapist and learned what we were doing wrong. It truly spiced up our love life. We learned how to please each other.

Pajamaboy · #7 (**permalink**) 12-11-2008, 10:12 PM

Yeah without a healthy sex life you die a slow relationship death. You have two options, either you can have a relationship with him and come see about me at night, or just leave him for me entirely.Ok on a more constructive note you could talk to him about it. But consider those 1st two options...lol.

Cookie monster rules! · #8 (**permalink**) 12-13-2008, 01:39 PM

experiment perhaps....try do-able fantasies you both have maybe....

luvluv33 · #9 (**permalink**) 12-14-2008, 07:10 AM

having sex outside of marriage messes you up. really. You guys don't love each other that's why there is no passion. If you break it off with him and move on to someone else to"satisfy you"will probably make you feel better, but at the end of the day you will still feel like you do now. and you will never feel satisfied because you have false expectations about someone completing you, when in reality you need.....

JeanLuc · #10 (**permalink**) 12-16-2008, 03:48 AM

In all relationships the sex starts going downhill after the"honeymoon"period. You should figure out ways to spice it back up again. Go to the adult store and see if you guys can get toys you like or others things that turn you both on. May be role play or other games. There's always ways to spice it up again. You could also seek counselling to see if there are pshychological issues for the lack of sex drives. I'd also pay attention to his diet and feed him stuff that gives him a boost... you can google for that stuff on line. Last thing I can think off, make sure you both exercise...being in shape will turn on yoru partner more and make the sex better. Good luck!