Healthy Relationship AdviceMany say that love is the most common cold. From being overly consumed with someone, to being blatantly mistreated we can be ill in love and not even notice a sign. We may not be doctors but we can prescribe you with healthy love advice to make sure your relationship is strong.
Hey, alright, Im lost as to what I should say to my boyfriend at this time in his life...After a very difficult relationship with this man, and finally deciding that we want everything to work out so we are going to do what it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship, I found out that he has had drug problem for quite some time. I know, how could I not know about this? Honestly, I dont have an answer for that. I knew that he had a problem at one point but he assured me that he no longer did drugs, Ive never really been around them and I had no idea what to look for...he seemed to be okay and I thought things were straight. Anyways, a couple of days ago we had a big heart to heart where he admitted that he had a problem , wants to stop, wants to be with me, and appologizes for lying. He's crying but not a whinny"shut up, cause its fake"cry..he genuinly needs me to be there for him, his family has caused him more problems than they are worth and his friends are drugies for the most part too. I want so badly to help him, and he says he'll do everything he can to make things right and get clean, so he calls me when he needs support and someone to talk to (he also still makes his boyfriend calls too though)...the thing is, since I've never known anyone with these issues or been in this situation, I have no idea what to say to him. When he calls and he needs to talk because he needs a fix and Im supposed to make him feel better, what do I say?. I know, many of you may think that I shouldnt be the one he goes to, I get where you are coming from if you think this, but honestly, we have eachother and Im about the only person he can turn to for any kind of help. I dont want to let him down, I love him and want him to get better. I know it'll be hard and trying but if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I would recommend contacting your physician, psychologist, or a local rehab center and asking them if they have any literature about dealing with loved ones who have substance abuse problems. AA could also be a good outlet, to learn about what their sponsors say when they call for support.Another thing to try would be to actually make an appointment with a psychiatrist and asking them for help (not for yourself, but for what to say to your boyfriend). That may not work out as well, as they may feel they would be better suited, but it's worth a try.Also go to your public library and read books about substance abuse and how to help those who need it. A web search could help as well. Good luck!
i know exactly where you're coming from. i was in the same situation, but with alcohol not drugs.what i did is just be there for him, if he wants to talk to you, talk...make him feel better, and once he knows you will be there for him he will make the effort to change.time will only tell.
I think that when he calls you should just listen to him and tell him what he wants to hear. Also keep convincing him that wat he is doing is right so he has selfassurance. hope it works out!
You sound like a really great person.If he's willing, you might want to have him go to rehab or meetings to try and help himself through this. You could even go with him if it's allowed.I have a friend that is sorta going through the same thing.Although this may sound bad,you need to get him to stay away from any friends or family that do drugs. Tell him if he doesn't feel good about cutting off all connections with his friends or family,just tell him to hangout with them in a healthy situation. Like, he could go out to eat or movies with his friends or family, instead of being in an environment where drugs are present.Good luck : ]
STAY BY HIS SIDE especially during this"transition."- He will thank you and it will help build your *stamina* to help others.For YOUR support; emotional, spiritual, etc, seek your own collective friend-base upon which to gain morale support. Consult your local A.A. and (I'm not sure of the name of the org. for Drug-rehab.) I hear so many programs that are available for those helping others to cope and overcome the effects of drugs.
My mom is 9 years sober next month. Its hard and once you are addicted, your always addicted. My mom says that she still thinks about drugs nearly every day. But she also says that what she wants isn't as important to her as what she would lose if she acted on it.My first advice is to get him into a rehab center. If he is serious about getting clean, he needs more help then you can give. Especially if he has quit the drugs. Withdrawls could make him dangerous or sick enough to kill him. He could fight you and not even realize he is doing it. My mom broke my arm. Rehab centers are equpped to deal with this kind of thing.When he calls you to talk. Just let him. If you haven't been in his situation, dont pretend you have. Don't say"I know"if you don't. Or"Your doing great"if he isn't. He has to face the truth at some point. Let him vent. Let him yell, curse you, cry, or just talk. If it is what he needs to do then so be it.Don't be an enabler. If he says,"I need it or I will puke"or"just one more time"don't agree too it. Don't let any of his druggie friends around him. He may say that they care for him and they are good friends, yadda yadda yadda. Thats when you remind him where he is and who helped him get there.The last piece of advice I have is to be patient. It wont happen over night. Once an addict, always an addict. And it will be hard as hell for both of you. Especially if he is serious. But its worth it in the end.Good luck!!!
What can I say to help him through this?
