In a bad relationship and I need some really good advice please!!?

This is a long one- but i need all the help i can get.. so I basically have an extremely complicated boyfriend problem. I've been in an on and off relationship with a guy for about 3 years. He's 21 and I'm 19. And though I know we both love each other our relationship is definately not a normal healthy one. A lot of things complicate the situation. First of all, We've grown up living in the same town and this past fall I moved over 1000 miles away with my mom to go to a junior college near her until the end of the spring. Second of all, he's got some of his own issues. He's been heavy into drugs not long ago (painkillers), and although he's finall realized he's an addict and goes to the doctor now and is on meds- he's not really on a straight program or seem totally motivated to get better, and he's also still best friend with some of the guys he did the drugs with. Third- I just feel a total lack of respect from him anymore. As far as cheating goes I've asked people he works/hangs with if he has and theyve said they dont think he'd do that to me- but i'm still not sure since he's lied to about about lots in the past. Our relationship has never been the normal kind I've wanted- and for that matter what almost all people that are in one want. I just want simple things- us to be able to hang out with friends together- him to be able to be around my family- us to go out more together when I am home or at least to spend more time together- and for him just to not be so secretive. I used to have all of the self confidence in the world- and now I feel completely insecure. I'm a gorgious, intelligant, and fun girl- I know I'm worth a hundred times more than this relationship- but the fact that heeee doesn't seem to agree hurts me like hell because I've gotten almost addicted to him. It's even changed my personality for the worst- I've become psycho crazy half of the time and pick fights with him because he wont change and cry- and I mean no wonder hald of the time he doesnt want to talk to me or deal with it. But ive just become so tired and frustrated. After a freak out I had a few days ago I basically just bluntly just told him to leave me the hell alone- and he has. I've broken up with him sooo many times and have run back- I'm sure he thinks this is no different.I guess I just want him to realize how bad he messed things up with us and whatnot but I feel like in his mind I'm always just going to be just another girl- even though I basically sacrificed my own life to try to help him. And what scares me even more is that after leaving him the next girl he meets is all of the sudden going to change him like I never could and I'm ultimately the one that gets screwed over. Should I just leave it as is and not talk to him for a while? I'm actually going home in about 2 weeks for a good 3 weeks if that helps at all...would it be better if i just completely didnt see him when i go home??

I think you need to get him out of your life no matter how hard it is. He's not good enough for you, and you've said so yourself. You will always end up unhappy but at least if you leave him, you will eventually wind up happier. He has serious issues he needs to work on, and you can't help in. They are personal, addiction and respect issues that he needs to work on himself. If he sees to that and tends to them, then maybe sometime in the future he will be ready to be in a relationship and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But as for right now, this relationship doesn't benefit you in anyway and he is not treating you like a human. If he can't see that he's hurting you now, he will never stop.