how do you keep a healthy relationship with your kids?

i♥mybichonfrise · #1 (**permalink**) 12-22-2008, 02:20 PM

recently, i have been thinking about how my mom and my dad have a bad relationship with us (the kids). and i was wondering, how can you keep a healthy relationship with your kids? now, i'm not a teenage parent or whatever, i just want to know now, so that i won't end up never having a conversation with my child and that we won't misunderstand eachother and whatnot. i pretty much want to be the"cool mom"where the kids are like bff with me and i could go,"whats the matter? something wrong with that boy you like?"or talk about sex when they're older.what kind of discipline is good for children? (including toddler, child, pre-teen, and teen years?) i want to know cause my mom just screams at me and hits me and just drags me to the door to get out or something (it happened more often when i was 7ish+)how can you avoid having favorites? my mom+dad is soo easy on my little bro cause he's the baby and the only boy other than my dad and he gets away with sooo much more things

jay s · #2 (**permalink**) 12-27-2008, 11:49 PM

I think first we have to change ourselves to set an example for our next generation. Children are very observant and they may remember an incident that touched them at an early age for the rest of their lives. I think there is no teaching course that one needs in bringing up their own kid, however in my opinion communication is the key. How one has to drive them until they take the driver's seat.

hop0409 · #3 (**permalink**) 12-28-2008, 09:42 PM

I was honest with my son, without putting any burdens on him. If he asked me a question, I would answer the best I knew. But when times were tough, he never knew about it. The best thing to do is be a"parent"not a"friend". Remember that you are the adult, and they are the children. My mom was very abusive, and my son and I still have a great relationship so history does not have to repeat itself. As long as you recognize your parents'faults and do your best not to repeat them, you will be fine.

♥♥Christi♥♥ · #4 (**permalink**) 12-30-2008, 12:56 AM

im only 13 but my mom is a'cool mom'the number 1 thing to remember is dont try to be all in there'grill'give them spa ce and let them grow let them come to u to open up to u dont be forcful like"little girl u better tell me whats wrong with u NOW"those r the types of moms on jerry springer who have daughters that have gone wild...children want bounderies and children need love ,care,support...wether u agree with them or not believe in ur child and trust that u have raised responcible,caring,loving,giving,kind,respectful children..

Eve · #5 (**permalink**) 03-09-2009, 09:30 PM

there are no simple answers and it's all very complicated. That said, I think one of the most important things parents can do for their kids is to love each other. That doesn't mean they get along blissfully well all the time but, it does mean that the parents are in a committed relationship and will be there together for their kids no matter what. This is not easy but, it matters so much. Secondly, I think it's really good to be honest with your kids. I have 3 kids (11 - 17) and I have made a committment to myself to always tell them the truth. Kids can handle just about anything if they are given the opportunity. They understand far more than adults give them credit for. They deserve respect and will learn to trust the adults in their lives only when they are treated honestly and openly. Talk to them about life and each other and themselves and answer their questions openly and honestly. Tell them the truth and they will learn to trust you and they will learn about life. Share the adults in your life with them and don't let jealousy get in the way. Allow them to form close relationships with people you trust and let them be themselves. Support them in who they are and who they want to become. And most of all enjoy them, and let them know you care.

jerrymousecat · #6 (**permalink**) 12-01-2011, 12:33 PM

Talk to them always, play and have fun. while they are growing up, talk to them about what did they do in schools and who are their crushes. In that way, they cant keep a secret to you. They will have a much confidence to tell you everything they want to tell.