Can you see flaws in your partner and still have healthy relationship?

orntelove · #1 (**permalink**) 12-25-2008, 03:45 AM

I ask this because my bf has said that certain little aspects of my personality are minor irritants. Nothing too major just phrases I use mostly that he doesn't understand. He said he can live with it and its not that big a deal but then when I do the things he makes comment which makes me feel bad.But what got me thinking is nothing he does irritates me in the least . I really love everything about him. Maybe I'm just not in to that phase yet but I'm perfectly happy. He's obviously not perfect but nothing bothers me.My question then, we don't live together yet, an have been together for about 5 months....He's already found thing that irritate him about me. Can a healthy relationship have things like this? Or am I just reading too much in to everything (which I do frequently) He wants to marry me but if I don't think he will be happy in long term then I would be apprehensive.

presleygirl · #2 (**permalink**) 12-26-2008, 07:21 AM

of course some things about your spouse or b.f. would irritate you, and he -you. it's normal. we're human. [happily married over 21 yrs.]

good · #3 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 08:33 PM

well its more than healthy for someone to recognise flaws on his partner but nevertheless still dream of a future with him.his comments make you feel bad and that means that his reaction is a little flaw that you find on him but still wanna be with him.In any case flaws are fine for as long as they do not lead into major frequent arguments, try to always confront all issues, people dont change in the name of love but they do do a lot of compromises.Enjoy your relationship and dont think too much about the negative daily incidents!

Heather B · #4 (**permalink**) 02-06-2009, 10:04 PM

Absolutely!!!!If you two didn't have things that irritate each other eventually (and soon) you would get bored with each other.Think of it this way.....salt and pepper. One is completely different than the other. Alone, they do opposite things, but together, BAM! The bad things make you appreciate the good things even more and the good things minimize the bad.

whineyviney · #5 (**permalink**) 02-07-2009, 11:10 AM

okay first of all nobody is prefect...at all.i get irritated by almost everything my bf does.even the way he talks is annoying to me its just the things he does and says sometimes that reminds me that no matter how much he irritates me i still and always will love him.you just have to see past all that and even if you havent found anything that bothers you about him dont worry you eventually will...nobodys perfect. you have to love somebody for there faults and for whats good about them.

judy bo-booty · #6 (**permalink**) 03-12-2009, 01:42 AM

Of course! What do you think marriage is? If&when you live together, you will find his little annoying quirks. No body&no relationship is perfect. It's love when you see those flaws&still make it work.Just some advice, if you don't mind: If you've been together 5 months, wait longer until you get married. Or live together first if you have no moral issues w/ that. Because you want to make sure that those"quirks"aren't things you both can't get past. Best of luck.