Will I ever be able to have a healthy relationship (help please)?

I suffer from severe depression for most of my life, at the moment it's manageble. I also have anxiety disorders and personality disorders...all diagnosed by doctors. Also I was r*ped as a virgin by a boyfriend who was adamantely saving myself for marriage. I don't know...my 25 birthday is coming up and I really don't like what my relationships have been like. I haven't had that many (3) but it seemed like I was dating the same man in drastically different bodies. Men who were only out for their own pleasure at any cost, the cost usually being my feelings and my body. I try to choose differently everytime, but...... I don't know. Each one of this relationships ends the same way, with me just a little bit more like them: mean, bitter and manipulative. I am a really sweet person by nature, sometimes I gripe about that, but deep down I love that I can still be a nice person no matter what tragedy befalls me. I can't afford to get help and I'm not crazy enough, at the moment, for the state to pay for my treatment. If I get into another one of those relationships and get used again, I probably will be crazy enough, but that kind of defetes the purpose. I want to be loved just like everybody else does and I'd like to have ONE decent man in my life, but I just don't think it's meant to be. Should I just give up and focus on being a better person?

yes..to all questions