I am having some relationship problems..Can someone help me and give me some advice?

Justine · #1 (**permalink**) 12-12-2008, 11:20 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. We are having some problems mainly because of me. I know how much he loves me and he knows how much I love him. I am always being obsessive with him and I am always wanting to see him or speak to him all the time which isn't healthy for our relationship. I get so weird about him jerking off to porn when I know that he hasn't lost interest in sex. He loves our love making. Is there something really wrong with me? He would never cheat on me nor does he hang out/talk/or chat with other girls. That isn't an issue. Can someone please help me to figure out why I am so paranoid? Thank you all in advance!!!Yes, I have been hurt in the past. My last relationship was really bad and it hurt me a lot.my boyfriend and I don't live together..We are considering moving in together though.The only time he looks at porn is when he is jerking off. I have known about the porn for so long. The porn itself doesn't really bother me...I guess its just the jerking off that does..Not sure why either.

Sunflower · #2 (**permalink**) 12-15-2008, 01:19 AM

For starters, I would maybe back off a little. Men are so funny that way, the more we push the more they back off. Guys will"jerk off"that is what they do - hell we do it too let's not lie here! Were you hurt before in another relationship? Maybe you think you don't deserve him and that is why you are so possessive of him however you more than likely do deserve him and he obviously thinks so too or he wouldn't be with you.As for the porn, remember that it is just the act that he is jerking off too - better a movie than another woman right? I am not thrilled when my hubby watches it either however they do and it is better they are jerking off rather than finding another woman!I don't blame you then as you were hurt badly in the past. But try to move on from that and realize that you got a good guy here! And if you move in together, try not to get controlling (I know it can be hard) as he obviously wants to commit to you! He loves you and doesn't want anybody else you just have to realize that and not let the bad relationship from the past ruin this good relationship right now!I would start by getting some confidence in yourself and in the relationship before he does break up with you. He has noever given you a reason not to trust him so you should before you ruin that relationship and kick yourself for years over it!

whitey0777 · #3 (**permalink**) 12-15-2008, 03:09 AM

i dont think he sould do that when he has u at home,i think it is considered still cheating

Carissa · #4 (**permalink**) 12-15-2008, 05:20 AM

It sounds like you have a good relationship. Calm down! If nothing is wrong, don't create a problem. Actually, right now, go kiss him and tell him what a great guy he is.

stratagem · #5 (**permalink**) 12-16-2008, 11:15 AM

It sounds to me like you're uncomfortable in the relationship. A relationship should make you happy not stressed out. Try finding a man you are comfortable with and can trust. If it's paranoid fantasies causing the problem, then get professional help... Maybe you have problems you should work out with yourself before you try to make a relationship work

ICEMAN · #6 (**permalink**) 12-17-2008, 09:10 AM

You just need to chill out,could be your not having enough sex with him experiment in bed,be a little kinky,how about the whipped cream and strawberries now that will tickle your fancy,basicly you just need to relax enjoy your life.

wondering · #7 (**permalink**) 01-06-2009, 02:58 PM

be happy! i know a guy that does it at least three times a day without porn and even after having sex with a woman! he says he doesn't prefer jerking off to sex, it is just more convenient thant the"hunt"for a woman. MEN! what are you gonna do?

Pisce-Pegasus · #8 (**permalink**) 02-23-2009, 10:36 AM

Maybe you are paranoid because you are afraid of getting hurt even though you know he won't hurt you you think there is still a small chance....and that probably scares you because of your previous relationship....just relax.....you have to realize that all guys are not like your previous boyfriend(s)....you even said that he would never cheat so you have nothing to worry about......and he is going to need his space so you might want to lay off and let him have his time alone.....and the porn thing well thats what they do.....your in a good relationship you probably just aren't used to that give yourself some time.....and let your boyfriend have his space....you deff. don't want to be clingy because that might chase him off........and from what it sounds like you don't want that....if you need to talk e-mail me through yahoo answers.......good luck...........