I LOVE HIM... sometimes... but NEVER been ATTRACTED... i need advice and serious help

#1 (**permalink**) 01-21-2009, 08:09 PM

I have been going out for a year now with this guy. Last year when we met I wasn't at all attracted really I never have been but he was this amazing guy with a great personality and quirky. fun guy. Bascially I just wanted a guy friend with benefits to help me out since I just moved to a new place. He knew EVERYBODY. And also I must add shamefully that I went out with him sorta as an excuse to be close to another guy who I was absolutely infatuated with (his best friend!<<hit head against wall>>). So for a while it was cool I went out with him and it never really got to serious. But of course we were growing steadily closer and became best friends. He is a dear person that I put close to my heart and I owe so much to him for making my first year at my new home easier. So now it's been a year and it's like we're obligated to get serious. But it's not mutual! I'm not attracted to him. I need to move on. HOW? I don't know. I've been awful to him (not admitting the whole time I've Nev
It's like I've been just playing with him the entire time. I feel disgusting about it. and he's such a good guy he doesn't deserve it. I NEED to break up with him because i don't love him, never have, and have desires to be with other people. But he loves me SOooh depends on me, it's like I've become part of him and if I were to break from him I know I would tear him apart, which i don't know if I could dd do that. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to surface my feelings (exposing my own awful evil facade making my stance in the "right") because it would be so much easier to pretend! pretending makes him happier, having someone that he thinks is attracted to him. I suppose it's better for him to know the truth, he definitely deserves to know such a truth. I can't believe I've gone along with my mess for such a long time pretending and letting him believe a lie.
sooooo.
How do I clear up this mess

#2 (**permalink**) 01-25-2009, 08:09 PM

u should break up with him if that makes u happy..u cant be expected to be with him forever if u dint want to. it wouldn't be fair to him or you

#3 (**permalink**) 01-27-2009, 08:09 PM

it looks like you need to have a serious talk with him and let him know how your feeling, and no your not obligated to be with anyone, its not fair to him or to you so you need to talk to him and you should probably leave him and let him find someone who truly wants to be with him, dint play with his feelings anymore. remember what goes around comes around

#4 (**permalink**) 01-28-2009, 08:09 PM

Have a talk with him and tell him exactly the way you wrote it on here. It won't be easy but it's the right thing to do.

#5 (**permalink**) 01-30-2009, 08:09 PM

hm mm.... you sound like such a SweetETerson!
you should call him on the phone at 1 oclock in the morning and tell him that you want to break up. When he asks about it in the morning, tell him that it was all a bad dream, and that you were sleep talking, but it reflects how you feel.