I'm in a little love pickle... can you give me your wise advice?
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I'm in a little love pickle... can you give me your wise advice?
Ok, I am going out with this bloke and I adore him, we've been going out for two years almost but right now he's feeling a bit stressed with work and that and when he gets stressed he turns really annoying - nags, gets obsessive and jealous and all that, but usually he's lovely he just needs to learn to chill out a bit. But you see I've recently got back in contact with this guy I was in love with yonks ago before I even met my boyfriend, and I'm sort of wondering what would have happened had things turned out differently. You know what I mean? And I just don't know what to do, with this other guy I always used to assume we'd end up together and I guess I took it for granted, but now I'm with my boyfriend and we're planning on getting married and I can't bear the thought of being without him.
So I guess I want to ask, do you ever wonder 'what if'? I need someone who's been happily married for the last hundred years to tell me everything will be alright. Please. Thanks.
Hey I'd never cheat on him! Honestly I couldn't do anything like that to anyone.
of course we've all done the "what if" thing. I'm in that situation right now in a way. My ex and I still do talk and even though it's been over 20 years, I still find myself wondering "what if" at times. The key is not to dwell on it. Move forward with your life with your new partner. It's okay to wonder once in a while but if you're obsessing about it, it usually means that you're not over him. You're normal.
no wonder your poor blokes stressed and jealous perhaps he' scared of loosing you too the ex boyfriend
if you love the guy your with don't mess him about as the ex could still be the wrong guy for you and you could end up loosing what you have over a what if
well, i haven't been happily married for the last hundred years, but I have been married for almost 10 yrs. I still wonder about my ex. We dated for so long, & our plan was to ultimately get married, but our lives just ended up carrying us in different directions. I wonder about what kind of person he turned out to be and all that. I wish I could talk to him, because he played such a huge part of my life once. I am totally happy with my husband, but every now & then, I do wonder what my life would have been like with him. They say, that once you truly love someone, that you never stop. You will always carry a part of him with you forever!
I am in a similar situation,however I made a choice and it didn't turn out well.
I have been married just over six yrs,started seeing what if on the side about seven months ago,it was agonizing for me on the inside.I was in love with two women and couldn't stop it.
she made me feel alive.
well she ended up pregnant and as soon as she did I couldn't keep it from my wife,I told her fully expecting for our marriage to be over and ready to start a life with what if.
My wife surprised me,and said that it is our problem and I needed to make a choice.toughest choice of my life and I wish that on no one.
I realized how much my wife loved me and stayed with her, it is hard to deal with my feelings for what if and I hope time will heal that.
Now onto the answer,you should consider what stopped you and Th ex the last time around.if you dint think that has changed than stay put.If your feelings are too strong for the ex than you should postpone the wedding so as not to put your cu rent fiance Thur a much worse heartbreak in the future.
It will take a long time to sort this out for me and I hate to see anyone make the same mistake.
I ha vent been married for a hundred years, but i did the "what if" thing a couple of years ago, and it was a big disappointment. The love of my life i once knew wasn't all that and i found myself in a completely different world to him. i dint think you should ever go back to something you had cos rose tinted glasses always make memories a bit distorted....
Everyone has the what if thoughts especially when we are going through a bad patch,your boyfriend is stressed i think he should take up some kind of sport to get rid of it,i would put marriage plans on hold though just to make sure your boyfriend doesn't end up being violent towards you ,not that i think he will .good luck.
Everyone does the "What if thing" and no one but you knows what is right for you.
Get this into perspective, you broke up, why, things weren't right. Most of us chose to forget the bad times and remember the good and that's what you are doing now, the fact remains you broke up when they weren't!
Why are you contacting this other man? no wonder your current man is jealous and don't say he doesn't know, we all know when something is troubling our partner.
Stress at work is common, my partner has to put up with my stress and does it by listening to my problems and being supportive, it works, try it.
Don't say you can't bear the thought of being without him because that's exactly what you are thinking about.
Finally, you say you are planning on getting married, I suggest you think long and hard about the commitment, quite honestly neither of you seem ready yet. When you are ready you won't need to ask for advice you will just know.
There is a lot of truth in the old saying " Act in haste, repent at leisure"
I'm in a little love pickle... can you give me your wise advice?
