LGBT: I'm confused about taking my boyfriend back. He's pathetic but I love him. Advice?

pdooma · #1 (**permalink**) 01-24-2009, 06:52 AM

I'm a 24 year old gay male. It's Valentine's Day. I kicked my boyfriend out two weeks ago AND changed the locks. He cheated on me quite a few times. And I cheated on him too. At least I have more balls than he does to ADMIT IT though. Last time I checked, he is the masculine one, NOT me. Pathetic. We been together for 4 years. He called me this morning about a sweater and a chain he left here and that he wants. This isn't about a sweater and chain! But IF that's the excuse he wants to use to justify why he bothered calling me, then I can easily have his stuff Fed-Ex to him in the morning. There should be NO reason for him to call my cell phone anymore and it's really sad that he called just to hear my voice after two weeks. He's not fooling anyone. He should have known that I was DONE with him the moment I threw all of his stuff out of the window(apparently except for the chain and the sweater). I have no idea how we even lasted this long, HE GETS ON MY DAMN NERVES! But on the other hand, it does occasionally cross my mind to give it another try...the thousandth try! But then when I return to sanity, I remember that I can't stand him. What should I do?

wigginsray · #2 (**permalink**) 01-25-2009, 06:52 AM

Don't answer the phone
Move On

jess1823 · #3 (**permalink**) 01-26-2009, 06:52 AM

Hi,

I think you should wait a little and cool your head. You seem really upset about it and it might be a good idea to take a bit longer break and focus on other things. That will enable you to get some perspective on your relationship and you will see if you truly love him... as true feelings don't go away so easily.

Meanwhile he will also have the chance to ponder on what he did wrong and maybe come to a realization that he does not want to lose you just because of some (on larger scale) unimportant stuff. Maybe he will be willing to really change for you... or decide to move on. Either way is good as it will allow you to freely continue your life. Just give it time and try to relax in the mean time and do stuff you like. Maybe even see someone else... that way you will surely see whether you miss your mate or not.

Afterwards TALK TO HIM... I mean have a serious discussion with him: tell him how you feel, how you see him and what you expect from him in order for your relationship to work... But in the end; do what you feel like doing as only you truly know what will make you happy.

trance.hawk@yahoo.com

Chester the Molester · #4 (**permalink**) 01-29-2009, 06:52 AM

That little voice in your head creeping up telling you to give it another try ... ignore it. For your sake, AND FOR HIS, ignore it. By the way, I really hope you weren't immature enough to throw his stuff out. If you both cheating on one another then what gave you the right to do that? You threw him out. You clearly want to move on, so let him go and move on. Absolutely zero contact. If he persists, change your cell # and email address.