Really need advice about a Girl i love, who loves someone else.?

This is a serious question, but i know I'll still get those "Forget her and move on" answers.
That's not possible for me, i really do love her.

She's been messed around by previous boyfriends, but she's always been in love with her first boyfriend that she was with for a few years from age 12 (she's now almost 19)... She absolutely worships him, and his life revolves around him.
The only reason they broke up is so that he could go to university and concentrate on his work, but i dint think he realizes how much she feels for him still.

Now, we got together for a very short time, about two weeks... Before she started saying that she needs time before her next relationship... I thought it was just because she was messed around by her last boyfriend, but i now understand it's because she is still in love with her first and she's waiting for him until he gets out of university in 3 or 4 years time.

We're so close, and when we were together for that short time i can honestly say with my heart, i have never been happier in my life - Finally someone that understands me, someone who shares almost all of my interests, someone who likes everything about me and someone that i never felt nervous with or had any difficulty with talking about the future etc.

We have such a massive connection, that i know that i will not be able to let go - I know that if we don't end up together (i certainly dint think we ever will) and i find someone else, because there's such a massive connection and she's the one person to ever make me truly happy with the world, i wont be able to help comparing anyone else in the future to her.

To me, she's so perfect, that i just cant bring myself to find any attractive qualities in any other girl now... I know that sounds bad, but that's the truth.




Ultimately, I've told her how i feel, partially... But she doesn't understand how much i feel for her, and i guess i don't fully understand how much she feels for her ex who's in university at the moment... But what i do know is that they love each other, so much, except that i know she's in love with him and i just don't know whether he's in love with her, or just loves her as you would love your non-biological twin.

If he comes out of university in 3/4 years, and she goes to him, if he says no then it will destroy her... If he says yes, then she will have the happiest life possible - That's something i know i wouldn't be able to give her, because for her it's always been him, and always will be.


I've just lost where I'm going with this now, i guess i just wanted to explain to someone the situation, get my feelings out in the open to the world.

We're the best of friends now, but because i still feel like this she keeps asking me if I'm alright with everything when i have awkward pauses in our conversations... She's also noticing now that I'm not smiling as much as i used to before and during the time we got together...

I don't really know what to do... There was something there for her that she felt for me, i know there was... I know it for a fact... Because we were so close and so connected, and for me at least - I just dint get happy unless it's serious.

Surely there must be someone out there in a similar situation, please let me know what you're doing and how you're coping with it all - While i do appreciate the advice my friends give me, they just couldn't possibly understand how i feel as much as someone else who's been in this situation before.
Just want to add that while i appreciate the answers... It's not me that's been hanging on for getting onto 8 years, she's been in love with him for that long and went to university, so split up with her.
I haven't held on anywhere near that long, only a few months, but it doesn't change how strongly i feel for the situation :-/

I am her type of guy, she's said that before... And she really did want me, so much... She loves everything about me, it's just that she's still in love with him after all these years and can't change that.

I don't need to do anything different at all, as there wouldn't be anything i could do to change how she feels anyway... Infact, for the most part i am VERY similar to him in many ways, which may have been why she liked me in the first place, so i'm thinking that it might be that i just seemed so much like him that eventually she realised it still is him she wants :S

wow dude, it's not this hard. if she likes him, it's because he offers her something you don't. rule 1 with women is security, that means muscle, a job, determination, sure they complain about all those with friends because they also bring other issues to their game, but they know they won't starve or get pushed around because they have a beast with them. you can't beat this guy with what you have or you already would. simple rule, why does the girl go for that guy? because she wants that type of guy. so you can sit around crying all night by yourself like a Woodie, or you can figure out what this guy has got that you don't, and get off your Woodie rear and make yourself into the type she wants. your bait's been in the water 8 years and she hasn't bitten, so learn man. work out, go to college, grow some confidence, and if he doesn't act like he cares, then you should act that way too. this is Alfie lesson dude, figure out what others have, and what it gets them, then ask yourself if you want what they have. if you do, copy them. get on the same road. or sit in the back ground like a Woodie on yahoo answers asking why why while you suck your thumb in the fetal position. you can't change what she wants, but you can change what you're offering. get on the weights, get your think on, you may not land her, but you'll land someone just like her, who is looking for you. best of luck bro, life isn't that hard, but the effort you put into it determines what you get out of it. peace.