Please help me. First love.. Got dumped... Depressed... Really really really need advice :(?

aaronsmith302@msn.com · #1 (**permalink**) 04-18-2010, 09:23 AM

I have a very big problem....
Which makes me suffer a lot for the past year.
In September, I moved to a new school, ND fell in love with one guy.
He was really friendly and funny. So everyone started gossiping about us being together although we weren't. I really liked him... And ... in November he found that out... And he told me he likes me just as a friend... I said it's OK. Even though... I realized that my heart never hurt as bad as it back then.
He started slagging me... Calling me different names... But i always forgave him.. Nd he took advantage of that. Before Christmas... It was really cold outside and me and him and a couple of other friends were hanging out... When suddenly he kissed me [peck]. I was really confused.
Then after that. He told me he really doesn't like me or anything like that. And i started liking other guys, just to distract my mind from him... He told me i was like a sister to me... And we were really close... Then... He introduced me to his best friend. Nd to be honest, i liked him. Even though i loved the guy so much. And i thought his best friend will help me get over him. I kissed properly for the first time with him. And soon after that... I kissed with the guy... ;D I just couldn't resist.
Then after that, he told me he started liking me... And.... he suddenly became more caring... It was all great. We were spending every weekend together... Not even talking about school... He told me he loved me... And he told me he always thought that long term relationships are stupid, but i changed his mind... We were going out for about a week ... And then he flew to Ukraine for holidays. [he's not back yet]. And he told me that we don't need to break up before he goes, because he is sure he wouldn't cheat on me with any girl... Blah blah blah... We were testing and testing nearly every day... But it was kind of weird for me that i wrote him a really long mail all the time and all he replied was like one sentence... But i didn't really mind then... I asked him if he cheated on me, and he told me not to be stupid, and that he wouldn't. Anyways... I thought A lot about the whole situation, And i realized that it would be better if we break up. Which was what i told him. He was very upset. And when he asked me why, i just said - i don't know

So then he asked for me back and i said OK...
Two days later... it was my birthday... [3 days ago]. And he text ed me saying happy birthday. And then told me that his friends told him that he met [made out] with some girl when he was drunk.
And then he dumped me. ...... I felt like my whole world collapsed... He told me he found some one else there... And when i started telling him what an asshole he is all he said was - ah well.
I started crying... And couldn't stop after that... Why does he always make me suffer?! for 3 days now... I can't even get out of bed... And i don't feel hunger anymore... I still text to him... And pretend like I'm fine... But to be honest, I'm SO far away from fine. And so beyond awful...
As soon as my parents leave home, i get drunk. I just don't get the point of life anymore.... :/
I want to die.... :/ Everyday he meets more and more girls... And when he tells me that, i say - MGM. Even though i start crying so bad. And have a really bad pain in my tummy, nd get a feeling as if someone just took my whole world away from me...

I am lost... And no one can believe that he dumped me... Everyone says i'm very good looking and all... Ugh... i don't understand!!!! I don't think I'll ever love any one as much as i love him! ever!!!

maildad2 · #2 (**permalink**) 04-20-2010, 09:23 AM

sounds like everyone is using you ..try to respect itself and find someone who loves you for who you are .

i3i3oy · #3 (**permalink**) 04-21-2010, 09:23 AM

Girl, that's just kitty shit. Trust me, the guy sounds like a damn loser, and you sound like a sucker that fell for it. Don't worry though, I 'fell in love' with a loser once too, but then I woke up and snapped out of it when I told him my feelings and all he had to say was 'i feel like a king' He was such a retard. And 2 months later, by sup rise, a wonderful guy came into my life and I have been dating him for almost a year now. One door closes, another ALWAYS opens. Trust me.
You don't always have to like and seek a guy either, let them come to you. It's better that way.
You don't go looking for love, it finds you.

Now, please take care. I know the assholes are attractive, but they are Soho not worth it.
:]

donald s · #4 (**permalink**) 04-22-2010, 09:23 AM

This may hurt, but it sounds like he never really cared for you. he was just playing with you and leading you on. If he really cared for you, he wouldn't have said 'ah well' when you were calling him an a**. he wouldn't have made out with some girl in the first place. and he probably only thought of you as someone he could use and take advantage of. Why did you let him slag you and call you names? You have to command some amount of respect from men, otherwise they will step all over you and belittle you and ruin you. you will have no confidence after that

i know it hurts and i am really sorry it happened, but you need to just let go of him, he will only ruin your life if you hang on to the miserable moments. just text him and say 'look i thought we were more than that, but you have other interests and we just dint fit anymore.'

~blood bitten~ · #5 (**permalink**) 04-23-2010, 09:23 AM

forget him there's PLENTY of fish in the sea I'll find another way better guy who isn't like that what u should do now is go mingle with guys u know and make some really good guy friends and then, if u decide to ask Ur cutest guy friend out, i say go for it, when u do, i want 2 hear all bout it same thing happened to me, only he was a user so yeah.

Jasmine J · #6 (**permalink**) 04-27-2010, 09:23 AM

This guy sounds like a total jerk. If your cell has a reject list add him to it. It sounds like he is very insecure and only asked to have you back so he could be the one to dump you and now he want to hurt you because you made him feel bad when you dumped him. I would tell him to leave you alone and possibly even change you phone number. You need to exclude this guy from you life. You also need to talk to someone. Call up your best friend and find someone to confide in. It is the first step in moving past the hole you are in right now. You are not alone, most people go through this. I have been in some bad relationships and I can tell you don't give up just take a break from dating and when you are ready to try again you will know it. I met the woman of my dreams and I can just be myself with her. Love is real and when I am with her I smile and am Happy. Yes we do argue occasionally and have our differences but for the most part we are very happy and that is all you can ask for. Don't give up you can find this too.... Just not with my EL JERKO!

PRETTYCOOLX9 · #7 (**permalink**) 05-01-2010, 09:23 AM

You need to understand & see that the guy was doing nothing but playing games with you. He;s not worth your time or tears. Believe me i know in a way how u feel. I was badly betrayed by my last relationship & it did for quite some time. But in due time the pain went away. In due time i was able to do the things i used to do again. You are a young girl who will have plenty of time to find that special someone in your life. In the meantime u need to get your life back together. Stop drinking. It makes the situation worse not better. You need to get your confidence back. & mostly you need to get back on your feet to show him that you are strong that you don't need him & that he's not worth the crying & the tears. Don't give him the satisfaction. If u need someone to talk to u can email me an time. I'm sorry for what u are going through & i hope his advice helps. Please go eat & get yourself back together again. I know u can do it.

Emily L>>Shy Temptress · #8 (**permalink**) 05-02-2010, 09:23 AM

candy, candy, candy. YOU fell hard for his innocent act of play. I know how it feels.... like the pit in your stomach is going to crawl up into your heart and die a slow, painful death. Killing you softly, the pit requires certain sustenance to go on. So, you begin to torture yourself, feeding the pit, because without that pit you feel empty and alone.He feels empowered knowing this breaks your heart even if you don't tell him. Every time he tells about the new girls in his life and your reaction was just like you don't even care, he'll keep pushing you till you break. You are absolutely right that he is an asshole. And candy, Franky no asshole deserves a girl to desire after him. Your life isn't over. From the writing it seem like you're are still young, and in life to get to the center of the titties pop takes patience (believe me). At the time of my darkest moment, I never, EVER thought that I would find someone else- someone that I would be happier with or feel more comfortable with. I actually thought he could be the one. BUT, you know what, he turned out to be a total dick. He broke my heart, NO.... he ripped it out of my chest and stepped all over with his new arm candy who can't even multiply 3x4? Lil. I survived. It took a lot of discovery and days where i felt like "my whole world collapsed." He isn't your world. He only made it seem like it because your heart skipped a beat when you were in his presence. I swear you'll love again, so quit the drinking and go out with some girlfriends and live free and blissful. And one day you'll find a guy who does more then just say he loves you but stops the world from turning.

Kc H · #9 (**permalink**) 05-07-2010, 09:23 AM

First, get something to eat the reason your tummy is hurting is because there's no food, even if you don't feel hungry. ?Secondly- GET OUT OF THAT BED!!! You're better than that. That guy was a jerk, and you don't need him in your life. I know you loved him, and it hurts, but you've had time to sob, you have you get up and find other guys. Don't waste your time!!!! ?Cut all contact with him, you're hurting yourself by doing that. Realize that you are a gem, don't let him get to you and mud you up, you're better than that. Remember that God and Jesus love you, with that you don't need anything else. I hope everything works out... Good luck and God bless. =) ?

chotu · #10 (**permalink**) 05-11-2010, 09:23 AM

I'm not going to say get over him, or move on or anything like that, a response like that is not fair to you. I will tell you that you deserve better and that I think it's best if you cut off all contact with him. Stop testing him, don't answer his texts. If he ever decides that he wants you back he needs to beg for forgiveness and SHOW you that he's changed. And then you need to decide if you can trust him again. I know you love him, I know what it feels like to love someone and i know what if feels like to try to stop feeling for them, it's almost impossible.

You deserve someone who thinks you are beautiful, the most beautiful girl in the world. Someone who would not give you up for anything. This will be difficult, I won't deny that, and it will hurt like hell. Put all the emotion into something constructive, writing, or artwork, anything that you love to do. There is something to live for, become a strong woman and show that a** that you can live without him, not only live, but thrive.