Is this "love" that my friend is feeling for this girl even normal? Help!?

pdimepc · #1 (**permalink**) 06-23-2010, 09:52 AM

Okay so me and my friend are 19 years old. He is my best friend and lately in the last couple of years he has been very desperate for a girlfriend. Well he just met one recently on an on line mobile dating site. They started talking on the phone for a couple days and that's when he told me that he was in love with this girl. He said that she seemed like the girl that hes been dreaming about and cant get his mind off of. They hadn't even met in person yet and they became boyfriend/girlfriend in less than half a month. She told him she loved him too.

Well they did meet in person just once about a week after that, she lives about an hour and a half away. They met up in a Ross store but she had to go real quickly, but they kissed and all that. So they've only seen each other for about 5-10 minutes tops in person. So now its been another week and my friend tends to put up status updates on his wall on face book saying things like "My mind is on *her name*" "I cant wait to see you next weekend, I love you so much *her name*"
And she says the same kind of things too.

I just have to ask, is this normal? Can this be real love? And how long do stages like this generally last?

mary w · #2 (**permalink**) 06-27-2010, 09:52 AM

He's in love with the idea of her and not actually in love with her. He wanted, so desperately, to have a girlfriend, and when he did, he flipped out and decided that he was in love. Unfortunately, without ever actually spending time together, it's impossible to be "in love" with someone. So, what he's saying is not actually what he should be saying. He needs to learn the difference between love and infatuation.

patois · #3 (**permalink**) 06-29-2010, 09:52 AM

Maybe she is desperate for love too and this is "normal" for the both of them? It might sound weird to me and you, but honestly, who are we to judge about people's feelings?

I've known people who are STILL together after years in meeting in on line circumstances - and then I've know (probably more) people who jumped the gun on thinking they were totally in-sync with another person. But cant we both admit that in our seemingly "normal meeting type" relationships that even THEY sucked too and didn't work out?

This isn't the era where people meet each other in grocery stores innocently picking out melons, nor is it the era where people want to meet in bars anymore - so what's left? Online stuff didn't work for me, but it works for some... so, well... I guess just be happy for the dude as long as it lasts, right? It might be 3 months, it might be a year - maybe forever! But it is what it is. And that's the way it always kind of was no matter what the source if you think about it, right?

D C · #4 (**permalink**) 07-01-2010, 09:52 AM

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