i have fallen in love with my best friend and need advice?

poppajoe49 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-12-2010, 10:47 AM

i am in high school and i have been best friends with a girl for 3 years and i have fallen in love with her. We are always together and i walk her to her classes and buy her what she wants and give her advice or a shoulder to cry on when she needs. Our friends have told us we would be a perfect couple but she just gets quiet when the subject comes up. her ex boyfriend broke her heart and I'm slowly starting to make her happy again. I really like her but i am not sure if she feels the same way i do.
Should i just stay friends with her and ignore my feelings or should i tell her how i feel?

m.e.s.[[bigmistake]] · #2 (**permalink**) 06-13-2010, 10:47 AM

if you like her GO ASK HER OUT.

ChemE-Kaun · #3 (**permalink**) 06-14-2010, 10:47 AM

I'm sorry man but once she sees you as a good friend, then threes a hard chance of getting with her, esp when she stays quiet about when your friends say you guys look good as a couple, even if she said no no no shes just then trying to hide the fact that she likes you

WarDawg · #4 (**permalink**) 06-17-2010, 10:47 AM

i think u guys should stay friends becks if u guys have such a beautiful friendship u shouldn't risk it by telling her u like her becks then if the feelings aren't mutual Ur gonna make things weird and awkward with her and its just gonna mess things up ...but unless u know for sure she likes u then i say go for it if not dint say anything.

Wise Duck · #5 (**permalink**) 06-19-2010, 10:47 AM

you are in high school. it really doesn't matter what you do as long as its not against the law. either way it could end badly. you tell her how you feel and she says no, you don't and then college comes and you grow apart. but since you are in high school once you hit 21 you slowly forget all the dumb relationship stuff when you start to drink more heavily. seriously dude (i assume) do what the little head in your pants tells you to do... its going to do most of your thinking anyway.

~~~~~!!!!! · #6 (**permalink**) 06-20-2010, 10:47 AM

I usually go quiet in that situation if I don't like the guy. It makes me feel awkward and I can't think of anything to say.
But some girls go quiet because they like the guy, but I can't really be sure.

My advice is not to tell her. You have such a great friendship and friendship is more important than a relationship. Just always be there for her and show her what a great guy you are, and maybe she'll fall for you.

Unless she tells someone that she likes you, or acts like she does really obviously, then don't say anything!

aaronsmith302@msn.com · #7 (**permalink**) 06-24-2010, 10:47 AM

Sounds like you're the "might-as-well-be-gay" friend in her life. Of course she knows you secretly love her. But if she tells you she's not into you, she risks losing all of the perks of having you around. I believe you named them... buying her whatever she wants, giving her advice and shoulder to cry on... I say just stop. Stop now before you can't take it anymore, tell her, and she suddenly acts like you're a freak for it. Once you actually tell her, the cat is out of the bag. Casually get out of this friendship right now. Stand up for yourself once in a while. Get a life outside of doing whatever she wants. Trust me, when you mature a little, you will see that she's just using you to feel better about herself. She likes that there's a guy who is a nice to her and likes her. Don't fall in love with emotionally high-maintenance girls, dude. Just walk away.

☆♪ Rockstar ☆♪ · #8 (**permalink**) 06-29-2010, 10:47 AM

Been there, done that. Sticky situation.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you your options, and the outcomes of each.

Alright, you can either: tell her how you feel, or just stay friends

If you tell her how you feel, she'll either like you back or not like you back. If she likes you back, it'll be a good thing, no problem. But if she doesn't like you, you'll definitely scare her, stress her out, trouble her, because I know how she'd feel. She won't feel like she has a friend in you anymore, because it'll always be awkward. You won't be able to go back to being just friends. And you'll think, "Being friends with her was enough. Why did I risk our friendship?"

If you just stay friends, things will be just fine, but you'll always have that empty, anxious feeling in you, and have that troubled feeling that you have about her now.

You really are in a sticky situation.

So what you need to do, is find out if she likes you in that way. That's your best solution.

Good Luck!

Of course though, you could always take the storm and brave it. If that feeling inside of you is killing you, then your best bet is to tell her, WITHOUT asking her out or scaring her away. Tell her you can't imagine her in any way other than just a friend, yet you feel for some strange reason, you're falling for her. Sure, it's twisting the truth, but it's the only way to tell her you love her without totally scaring her off. Here I have prepared a speech for you:

When you guys are alone, or at night ask her to come outside, tell her you need to talk.

"(her name.) I know that I have a friend in you, and I hope you know you have a friend in me, too. You've been my best friend for three years... so thanks. (smile.) But I just can't hold this in any longer. (look down) They say that courage is deciding that the person is more important than fear. So... (her name) I think I'm falling for you. And believe me, it's scaring me just as much as it's scaring you. I never thought of you in any way other than a friend... so why do I feel like this? I just can't get it. I mean, I still don't see you as anything other than a friend, yet, something in me is making me see you in this weird way. I just don't understand... Anyways, I thought the best thing to do is to let you know... Okay I'm sorry... Should I not have told you that?"

I think this would solve your problems!

ha ha, really I wish you best luck and hope it works out for you! feel free to email me if you need help, or just to tell me how it works out! aubreegg@gmail.com