big big long love love problem i would like your help il will be posted bit by bit in additional details help?

it all started a year ago when i met this boy at a house party and i was ab it drunk so he needed 50 for the bus and he said he will pay me back the week after he gave me his number and i taxed him Harv you my money and he gave it back thank god we got to be friends and going out together to parties nearly every day of course then we became best friend after spending every day together and of course i was the one to fall in love with him he made me smile and laugh and we always flirted god life was great i was doing a course at the time and left it because i was having too much fun with him and couldn't get up in the morning and was always broke cause i used to buy him drink all the time we had so much fun every day i was so attached to him every time i saw him walk in my door i melted wow he was so nice to me making sure i was OK and never left me out in any thing cause we did every thing together this went on for a few months until he got the call from rehab he had to go over the court demanding he must go, of course i knew he wouldn't be the same and i was rite the day he went to rehab was torture i missed him so so much and for the first few weeks he had no phone so i waited till i got the call o my god couldn't believe it i screamed cant believe its you i missed you so much so after a while he got his phone back and we always TeX all day one day i decided to tell him i love him and he reacted in a anger way i didn't think he would he said i ruined our friendship after a while we got talking again and he forgave me so things started getting different he made new friends up there and even we texed all day he was less interested in me i got to see him twice a week for a few hours and that time i would take him shoping and make sure he has money in his pocket he went through a rough patch and went back on drugs and i payed off the death i didnt mind cause the last thing i wanted to see is him getting hurt and over and over again i continued to pay his deaths off he always said thanks for being there for him i said best friends for ever yes he said for everafter awhile the subject love came up and he said no were never ever gona be together never of course that hurt me but i cant help it i fell in love with the old. one month later he told me he had a girlfriend o my god i felt my heart breakhe spend time with me but every second i wasnt with him i could feel the pain from the morning i woke up to the night i fell a sleep it was like this shape pain where you cant do nothing and all you want to do is die i was homeless at the time and mormally thinking of him would cheer me up
so and i would always be so happy but when he told me all i could feel was pain this contuned for months man was it hard but i had to live with it i was on the streets so i had nothing to do but think all day he finally broke up with her and got out of rehab at least i have him back i was so happy but little did i no he had changed he spent most of his time going out to meetings with friends and the lads so he would see me few times and i would go up o his house things were strange we werent close any more no flirting u ok no nothing ok lend us a few quid no problem i miss him so much really did after a while is friends asked me to stop calling cause they didnt like me as they were jealous that i spend all the time with him so again didnt really see him after a while he moved again thank god and didnt talk to the lads and came over every day to mine yeah i have my best friend back we laughed all day said stupid things and had the best of fun until he started talking about girls of cour
course i was hurt and asked him to not talk about them he was angry with me cause he said why cant you be like my friend and chat about them i said its really hard im so in love with you i would die for you he said he didnt want to hear any thing about love hated it one night he texed me saying i think im in love with you i rang him o my god i could not believe this i asked him 100 times are you lien no no i am so excited i sat up all night couldnt sleep with the biggest smile ever that morning i had to tex him he said he was only drunk but he wasnt i could here it in his voice that he was sobor crushed again i was so i left it a months later he told me he was telling the truth but hes not any more we had the talk the love talk i told him how much he means to me cant explain it but i felt like he was my soul mate o he also said that any way i asked why wont he be with me and e said no we will never be together over my weight yes im also ugly back ages ago he didnt care we would kiss on
the bus and do stupid things but at the time he was embarrested by me people pointed out why are you hanging out with her god she cant be your girlfriend hes a popular guy and he gets the ladies so we had a fight and he left me never texed bac for ages and ebcame friends i said its my fault sorry for falling in love with you and became friends again now i can tell you this not talking to talking happened over and over again he was hurting me by what he was doing but i love him so i always come back for more the fights allways have to do with love god it hurts so after a while of i miss you and i want my friend back i got him back again i was so happy spending every day with him and having so muc fun i love bringing him shoping cause i no it makes him happy things were going great untill he said im falling for you and he became angry he said he didnt want to be in love with me so we need time apart so we spent a month apart he moved in with family and got a job this is now and he has a
a car he never really came back to me as he said im boring and hes busy with work and doesnt want to hang any more once again he stops texing me and im tired of it this is where were at now him not talking to me and it hurts so much cause i miss him and hes my life hes the only one that puts a smile on my face and the only one who can hurt me and boy is he hurting me i dont really no what to do cause i feel this man is my soul mate and i have a feeling he does love me but wont let it out because of people telling him leave me the whole time i no people will say move on but i really cant i just cant tried it dating and other stuff i cant wen im with another person all i can think about is him and he is on my mind 24/7 all i ever wanted was him to love me and again i dont no what to do

Tip: if you want anyone to read this giant block of whining, learn to use punctuation. See how I used a period, then a couple spaces, then a capital letter beginning a new thought? Also, observe the commas I'm using. They are helpful in translating your stream-of-consciousness babble into clauses that can be understood. Spelling words correctly isn't important to everyone, but if you want to only get advice from other dropouts that don't bother to listen when the computer TELLS you you're making mistakes, you're not going to get very intelligent advice.

You should probably be banned or something for creating fresh questions asking people to come here and look at this thing! Anyway, I'm sure if I slogged through your 8 page question, I could trim it down to a couple of paragraphs. You should try that -- you don't need to repeat every conversation and thought you've had about the problem. SUMMARIZE! Maybe try again when you can phrase your question in the form of a question, instead of the world record run-on sentence.