Please help: What are some signs a man does NOT love you?
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Please help: What are some signs a man does NOT love you?
In other words, when he doesn't think of you in that way / is not emotionally attached (or maybe even doesn't want to admit he does love you). I'm going to tell my boyfriend of 9 months that I love him. I think he does too, but there's a slight possibility he won't reciprocate those feelings (we're having some troubles & it may end, but I want him to just know my feelings). I know guys can be thick & so he may not even realize I care so much. I don't have a huge amount of dating experience, so I'm wondering if there are any telltale signs or warning signs that someone does NOT have deep loving feelings for you. Thanks for input, especially from people with experience..hence the reason I posted this here instead of singles section. Thanks.
well we've both been shaky to say the big L word because we've been hurt *really* bad in the past.. And to be honest I think he kind of built up a wall emotionally so that he wouldn't totally fall in love. BUT I'm not sure. . :-/ I figure I might as well put myself out there rest of the way & let him know how i feel.
The following clues (actions by him) indicate that he's losing interest or has lost interest in you completely already. This does not mean that your relationship is over, but it does mean that, if nothing is done to 'repair' it, you will face heartache or a break-up.
He's stopped calling you or he's not returning your calls. He used to call you all the time and talk to you about anything and everything. Now he's either stopped calling you altogether or he does it infrequently, much less than before; if you call him, he does not return your calls or he does it infrequently and after a long time. When you call he simply does not pick up. This is quite a bad sign and if he says to you that you are overreacting don't let him fool you.
Too busy or often working late. He always seems too busy to see you, too busy to do anything with you or, similarly, he's always working late rather than, for example, bring his work home so that he can at least be with you.
No attention to you. You could be talking to yourself or to the walls; he just does not seem to be 'there' with you, he seems to be 'somewhere' else and hardly notices you.
He sees his friends without you all the time. When he does not share his social life with you much or not at all, it's a bad sign.
He says how beautiful other women are. You may not care but if he repeatedly says things like this he simply does not care about hurting your feelings, which means he does not love you anymore or he never did.
Stuff I noticed at the brink of when my best Friends relationship was slowly ending was her boyfriend barely said pick a boo to her. Basically there was almost no communication with them he would rather hang with his friends than her when they loved each other it was the opposite. He showed no concern for her. Once she burnt herself making him food he didn't help clean the mess or anything just told her "make my food then clean it up". Those are a few thing less communication with each other no concern staying away from each other more than being together. Hope that helped.
You've answered your own question. After 9 months, there is no love in this relationship or else you two would have expressed this sentiment a long time ago. Personally, I think both of you need to do a lot of growing up. Neither one of you is capable - or mature enough - to grasp what love really is.
Dear New to Love: To tell someone you love them is not for the purpose of seeing if they love you back. You may just get disappointed if that is what you are looking to happen. He has to come to that realization on his own and then express it, if he wants to.
You can tell if a man loves you by how he treats you, speaks about you, has a desire to protect you, care for you (feed/clothe etc.) And most of all, he will let you know, in actions usually, that he feels incomplete without you in his life.
Also....listen and believe what he says to you....until his actions prove otherwise. For example: A man who 'tells you' he loves you; but, he leaves you home and goes to a bar, movie, any social activity without inviting you. He does not treat you two as 'WE'; but, as you and I. He never gives cards, flowers for no reason...and forgets on holidays or birthdays/anniversaries. WHEN YOU HAVE TO HINT HINT HINT WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO AND HE STILL DOES NOT DO IT WILLINGLY.....HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
Also, a man makes his woman feel secure...no guessing games as to how he feels or wants in the relationship...9 MONTHS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH FOR A LOT OF US TO DECLARE OUR LOVE FOR ANOTHER PERSON.
I knew of my man for 18 years and we dated 2 years before I realized that we were BFFs and that I loved him for more than just sex. I love the pedestal he puts me on...and hands me his hand to assist me down, so I can put him up there. We pray together, openly and spend a lot of time giving each other 'thanks' and 'praise'. The only time we are apart is when he goes hunting and I go exercise at the spa. We are incomplete without each other and we are spoiled for being with other people now. Our standards of giving love to one another is high....great....wonderful.
My only suggestion to you is to never settle because you think it is Love...love comes and goes easily. Reciprocated love is the only lasting one. Don't believe the hype...only what you see and feel coming to you...not just what you are giving out.
Adult women can say I love you too without playing games. Why are women so insecure about saying "i love you" first? There is no rule that stipulates that the guy must say it first. Time to grow up ladies.
It's not what a man says, it's what a man does that counts! He can say he loves you all day long and not really feel that way. A man that is in love, truly wants to do things with you more than with his friends or family. That doesn't mean that he never wants time to himself, but that he prefers to spend time with you. He also respects and asks for your opinion and your help with things in his life that are important to him. He would never go out and make a major purchase such as a vehicle without talking it over with you first and getting your opinion about it. He cares about what you are doing and what affects your life as much as he does his own. If he inadvertently hurts your feelings, it truly hurts him too, and he would go above and beyond what it takes to make it up to you.
He would never call you names, hit you, abuse you verbally, let you cry your self to sleep without even caring, leave you alone in a dark alley, or at a bus station in the cold, or standing out in the rain. When a man loves you, he will put you first in his life, his thoughts, and his heart. When a man loves a woman, there is no doubt about it.