I'm in love with my best friend, and i'm desperate for advice?

Jenn . · #1 (**permalink**) 05-23-2010, 12:27 PM

We've been friends for a few years, but just now I've beginning to notice some strong feelings that I've developed. I love being around him, and hes the only guy I've ever really felt like I can be myself around.
The problem is, he is the king of mixed signals.

A few of our mutual friends have told me that they think he likes me, and I want to believe them.
Whenever we hang out, we flirt an INSANE amount. Like, to the point where it might make others uncomfortable. Like, we go over to swim in his pool, and he gets extremely touchy-feel with me. Grabbing me, dunking me, tipping a raft if I'm on it, picking me up onto his shoulders, etc.
And hes not like this with other girls.

But when one of our mutual friends suggested that we dated, he said 'I don't date.' He might have just been saying that, but it worried me.
Before this, me and him had talked about his old girlfriends, and he told me that he refused to kiss anyone while he had braces (which he just recently got rid of). So the whole braces thing might be the reason he hasn't dated.

I guess I'm having my doubts because he's different from most guys I've talked. I'm use to guys wanting to hang out every possible chance, and testing me all the time. He asks to hang out every few days, and never texts just to talk (although I don't think he texts anyone just to talk)

Ugh. As you can tell, this guy has me twisted like silly putty. And I need to make a decision, NOW.
Do you think he likes me?
And if so, what should I do about it?

Lakim K · #2 (**permalink**) 05-25-2010, 12:27 PM

whoa i think he really likes u ! go 2 like a quiet place alone and talk 2 him tell him how u really feel

john o · #3 (**permalink**) 05-27-2010, 12:27 PM

ask him out!

yellowsubmarine · #4 (**permalink**) 05-28-2010, 12:27 PM

I think he is just as confused as you are to be honest. Maybe in one of his past relationships, he was really good friends with his girlfriend, and they broke up. He could have taken that hard and maybe that's why he "doesn't date". He doesn't want to loose you as a friend. That is how i would feel anyway...Maybe he does like you, but he is afraid to loose you so he doesn't want to date you, or anyone else. I think that some time when your alone with him, bring up what it would be like if you dated. Slowly ease the idea into his mind that it would be good for both of you. Then maybe, you could get a best friend/boyfriend in one person

Good luck!

P Nus · #5 (**permalink**) 06-01-2010, 12:27 PM

OK this is a tough one. BUT one I've experienced...Jesus, about 5 times now. When I was younger I used to drink to to loosen up a bit ( I know this is terrible but I was young and dumb). I would either confess in this state or just kiss him. It really never failed because if he liked me too we got together if he didn't i pulled the "I was drunk and didn't know what i was saying" card so things didn't get weird.
In later years I've sat the friend down. Looked him straight in the face and told him how I felt. Its only natural to develop feelings for a good guy you're around all the time. Let him know how hard it is to keep those feelings all locked up. Just spill your guts. Tell him you don't mind if he doesn't return the feelings and that you wont let it change your friendship. Hopefully he'll be mature about it.
But definitely tell him things only get worse with time.