my bf pushes me away when he loses a loved one i feel rejected when i only want to help?

amit · #1 (**permalink**) 12-24-2008, 11:47 AM

my bf has lost 3 people to gun violence within the last 6 months including loosing his grandma 4 weeks ago....tonight he just lost another close friend and hes pushing me away when i only want to comfort him..he keeps being mean to me and its hurting my feelings..i know i cant bring them to back to life but is there anything i can do to make him feel better??
thanks everyone for your responses they really helped me look at things the other way and not take it personal.....@ Janet I'm from Chicago IL.

BUBBLES · #2 (**permalink**) 12-26-2008, 11:47 AM

he is just having a really hard time i seen the Samar thing happen with my friend and her boyfriend he just wanted to be left alone for a few days he will come along he just needs some time to himself tell him u will be there for him when he needs u

Alexis P · #3 (**permalink**) 12-30-2008, 11:47 AM

Everybody handles grief differently. He may just need space or doesn't want you to see him upset. Let him know you are there for him if he needs you and stay close, but don't push. A lot of people lash out at the ones the love when they hurt. Be patient and understanding, but let him mourn his own way. So sorry for all of the losses in both your lives. It must be hard on you also.

hyspeed_games · #4 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 11:47 AM

Gosh, where do you live?

Phantom J9 · #5 (**permalink**) 01-04-2009, 11:47 AM

He is suffering from sadness and when you are trying to comforting him he is pushing you Cox nothing in his hands he is just showing you his mixed behavior sadness and anger (anger not on you) anger on god or on this act that he lost his loved once.
So dint feel rejected just try to wait for some time when he come out from these sadness.
But this time he needs you, take care for him he really need your care and luv

kerilynn · #6 (**permalink**) 01-09-2009, 11:47 AM

He's grieving and grief is a very personal and private thing. People have to grieve in their own way and in their own time. If he chooses to grieve privately then the best thing you can do for him is let him know you care, that you are there if he needs you and then give him his space! Don't try to fit his grief into a mold that you think is right for him.

Dennis W · #7 (**permalink**) 01-11-2009, 11:47 AM

First I'm sorry to hear about your bf lost. You have to realize that right now its not about your emotions. He just lost a lot of people recently and he's coping and grieving in his own way. All the grieving process to play out. I know you want to be there for him, but the best thing is to give him space. Still let him know you re there for him, if he need you.