Serious love question, please help!?

sassy/sexypuka · #1 (**permalink**) 01-21-2009, 11:50 AM

If you're actually taking your time to help me, then I thank you with the bottom of my heart. Here's the situation:

I am in a current and wonderful relationship with my best friend Matt. He's perfect for me, I love him. But we have been together for about 4 months now and he still acts a just a best friend... the only thing we really do different is hold hands and hug. He's only told me he loves me once. Now I know it sounds like he's a bad person. But I'm his first girlfriend, and I he is really, really shy.
But recently me and my other friend Tj have been talking and he confessed his love for me... And he says the sweetest things to me. Here's an example:

"i wish i could kiss you right now..we really are meant for each other.
like i said we're made for each other. From the moment we talked i could feel that connection. After we stopped talking, i missed you so much and you were on my mind the whole time STOL i spoke to you again. Youre right we are jack and sally... No we're even better than that.. ? I'm also falling for you. In my eyes you re perfect in every way. In my eyes you re the one.. And i know this may sound like much, but you re my soul mate ? i couldn't imagine being with anyone but you.. I couldn't imagine a life without you in it..id do anything for you. I would do anything to be with you.. The girl of my dreams ?"
He also calls me beautiful everyday and wishes me the best....

I want to love him too, but down in my heart, I really love Matt. He's always been there for me, I've told him things I've told anyone before. And he always helps me though the hardest times....

What do I do?

Thank you Soho much to anyone who even attempts to help me.

-Erin <3

howldine · #2 (**permalink**) 01-25-2009, 11:50 AM

Be patient with Matt. maybe make a move. i dint think you should choose J over Matt. love is a serious thing. he cant say all of those things and mean them. he is probably just trying to woo you. i think Matt is probably worth it. if J is talking about all of these things so suddenly, he probably wont take your relationship as seriously. also, does J know that you re with Matt? if he does, it makes him a jerk to say all of those things to you while you're dating someone else. he would probably be very persistent if you were to date him. i dint think you should take the easy way, try to work it out with matt. if it doesnt work out, you will have someone to fall back on (as bad as that sounds) i dunno, thats just my advice. i hope i helped.

*Pinkies* · #3 (**permalink**) 01-30-2009, 11:50 AM

How close are you and your friend Tj? Does he really know you that well? If not, then he's probably just saying that because he wants you as his.

The most I can tell you, is FOLLOW your heart. If Matt has been there for you through everything, and he's your best friend, and you truly love him, then I would just give him time to adapt to being a boyfriend. Not everyone can go through a relationship at a fast pace, and honestly, I think it should be taken slowly anyway.
I know for a fact that when your boyfriend is your best friend, the relationship is usually pretty good

Cuz you know each other as friends. And that's the best way to the start of a relationship.

GreatFull · #4 (**permalink**) 02-02-2009, 11:50 AM

I've been in this situation before. Stay with Matt. Hes really going to be with you through the hard and good times. The other guy is just seeing the good things about you, when Matt had seen it all with you.. Stay with Matt if you want to be comfortable and safe with him..

Go for the other guy if you want something new, something hot, which wont last as long as you and Matt. I can promise you that because of my situation like this. I wanted to go back to Matt in your case but he would have already moved on when Matt is the one your meant to be with <3 good luck Hun!!

Don't make the same mistake as I did and go for the other guy, you'll regret that choice sooner or later.

ImaS2bum · #5 (**permalink**) 02-04-2009, 11:50 AM

First of all... i wanna know how old are you? it sounds kinda like high school love story to me. Anyway.... as u said you and Matt are together for 4 months now. Its not a long time anyway. Different guys have different thinking. Some guys needs women first than anything else later i.e. job, career and blah blah.. Some guys think of getting a house first and then get a woman.. (i think u can understand what i mean).
One for thing for sure.. first love is unforgettable and completely different than anything else. If you are his first love than u dint need to worry.. I can blindly say, he is into you, but he dint have enough confidence to commit. you guys need to sit down together and talk to each other. Its your responsibility to make him confident about you and more importantly about himself.

Regarding Ur friend Tj... LoL looks like he is seeking an opportunity to get under your pants... Take your time. Follow one guy. If you are Matt's first love than understand that you need to make him trust in you. If you go from this guy to that guy than its not cool...

Hope I'll find Ur love soon....!!!