I'm gay and I'm madly in love with my best friend, what's your advice?
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I'm gay and I'm madly in love with my best friend, what's your advice?
I'm sorry for making this seem like a novel, but I'd really be thankful for anyone who reads this.
I'm 15, I know some of you may be saying, Oh, you're too young to be feeling love, or something like that.
But please don't tell me that. . .
Anyways, I met this guy in 7Th grade. He was completely new to the school, and to America, pretty much. He's originally from England, but he moved to South Africa when he was really young. And then he moved to America. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, so I decided to be friends with him. It's really not that hard for new people to find others who are willing to get to know them. I mean, this kid didn't know anybody at school at all.
Yeah, so we started hanging out a lot, and at this point we're best friends. I noticed that I always wanted to come over his house and be with him, and just see him. Whenever I get home from school, I'm eager to just go back and see him. I don't know, somehow I felt obsessed with him in a way.
At this point I really hadn't thought of me being gay, or completely realized it. I do remember that back then, I'd always see how handsome guys looked, and never how hot the girls were, or whatever. But I didn't really understand at that point.
I felt closer to him every time we hung out together.
But during the summer, he moved back to England. I felt really devastated and lonely. That's when I realized I really loved him. We kept in touch, chatting on line and what not. I hadn't told him that I was gay when he was in America, but I told him once in a chat, and he was completely fine with it.
This year he came to visit America, and he stayed with me for a week. Then he went to his other 2 friends, and stayed there for a week each. I was really happy when he came, of course.
But each night we'd go to sleep, I had a really strong urge to tell him I love him, and I want him to be my boyfriend, but I didn't. So I tried something else. One night when we were just chatting on his bed, I said, "Can I ask you something crazy?", he said, "What?", "Can I kiss you?" I stared at him to see how he would react (hard to tell, the lights were off), and he wasn't saying anything, so I felt reallyLillyrrassed and looked away. Suddenly he said, "If you want." Yeah, so you know what happens next. I leaned over and kissed him. It was my intention just to use only my lips, but I guess he wanted to try something else because he kept licking my lips. So I opened my mouth and we just.... explored each others mouths I guess. Yeah so this french kiss happened 3 times. I had to lock the door once so we had to stop. I felt really empty after that, not because it was over, but because I felt like he didn't really enjoy it. There goes my first kiss. We slept on the same bed that night. Not cuddling though, which also made me feel empty. I felt like that after we kissed, he'd be more passionate with me. Guess not. The next night, I asked him why he let me do it. He said he was experimenting, and said he wasn't bisexual or gay when I asked. Well he actually said, "I don't think so.", like he wasn't sure...
He went back to England a couple of days ago, and now I'm really depressed. I mean, I rarely get to see him in person. And there's so many things I want to tell him, but I can't.
But the next time I see him, should I tell him how I really feel about him? I know that would jeopardize my friendship with him... but I feel like if I can't have him, then I might as well not know him. I feel like I have nothing to lose...every year I have a really close friend who leaves the country, or moves to another state, or whatever... It happens every year. I'm not exaggerating. I'm tired of feeling lonely, so I just tell myself to forget them.
I'm really lost in what to do, and I have to wait another year to hopefully see him again.
What's your advice?
P.S. I'm sorry for making this so lengthy, but I really appreciate anyone who took their time to read all of this.
i read ALL OF IT~ anyways...try talking to him....figure out how he feels. If he likes you back...go for it! but if he doesn't...it might be too awkward to continue as friends....so its a chance, depends if you re willing to take it. anyways, i wish you luck!
i read the whole thing and i say that would amend you if you said you loved him that is Wat would do i mean if he let you kiss him then I'm sure that he will understand maybe maybe not depends on his personality
i would go for it just because you already seem really sad so you have nothing to lose. if he let you kiss him he obviously has some sort of feelings for you.
Don't tell him. I know it's so hard but if you Frenched him and he still didn't get close to you, he's not giving you any signs, and basically he said he wasn't gay or bi, then chances are it would be useless telling him and you will ruin your friendship. So, just let him go. know it sounds impossible, but I did it...took me two years of not talking to the guy or responding to him, but eventually I broke away and am a better person inside for it, and you can do the same. You are still so young and you have so much to do. I'm SOou got your first kiss ...plus, if he's living in England, what kind of relationship is that going to be? You're only going to get to see him one time a year!
just tell him how you feel. I know that may sound hard and stupid but that's the only way to feel better. It sounds like he's an understanding guy and he will understand and tell you how he feels.
DAAAAAMMNNN YOU GOT FARTHER THAN ME! Lil I'm in love with my best friend too but he doesn't know I'm bi. I wish he'd kiss me.... Anyways I feel like it might be awkward to tell him after the kiss, but if he turns out to be gay/bi/still curious, then go for it!
I know you want to tell him you love him, but why not start small and see how he reacts. From the sounds of it, your friend is trying to figure out his sexuality so telling him you love him might confuse him a bit or pressurize him and you both might end up getting hurt in the end. Tell him you have a crush on him. See how he reacts to it.
It sounds like you are handling all of this well. You realized you were gay, had your first real crush, and even got to kiss him. The downside is, it doesn't sound like this guy is gay/bi. He might be, but right now he just seems comfortable with your friendship.
If I were you I would stop thinking about this guy as a possible love interest. You should give yourself a break from the friendship. Take a couple weeks to get your head together. Then you need to direct your sexual and emotional energy elsewhere. Try and meet other guys and see where it takes you. Don't look at this experience as a failed experience.
You got a strong friendship with a guy who is comfortable with your sexuality, and you got to at least kiss your first crush. After you think you are over this guy emotionally you can pick up on your friendship. Next time try and do some screening before you fall for a guy. It sucks to keep falling for straight guys. All of us have been there and had to learn this lesson.
Im 15 and I'm gay, but i haven't had all of the troubles your having. Really the only thing I can really say is that tell him how you feel, how you can't stand to be together. But he could have been experimenting though everyone does it. on the other hand he can be bi or even gay. But although telling him how you feel about him could jeopardize your friendship he might have the same feeling that you do and just doesn't express them. But you wouldn't know until you tell him how you feel.
But I hope that this helps you out alto
I'm gay and I'm madly in love with my best friend, what's your advice?
...plus, if he's living in England, what kind of relationship is that going to be? You're only going to get to see him one time a year!
