Her marriage is going to fail as they are too much in love and young! Advice, MATURE ANSWERS!?

meye2lilmonsters · #1 (**permalink**) 07-04-2010, 06:10 PM

My sister is 22 and engaged to marry her 23yr old Scottish fiance who she has been dating since he moved to the US 5yrs ago. He is a musician in a traveling band and he takes her everywhere with him and you can tell they are crazy about one another, but I'm terrified that she is moving too fast and it will end disastrous. When they are angry with one another they are really angry and when their happy they are madly in love. I have been married 3 times and they have all ended, none of the marriages in our family last and she has vowed to be nothing like us but I'm convinced she will be just as jinxed as us and i don't wont them going through that pain so young. When they aren't traveling we almost never see them as they spend almost all day at home in bed together or if they go to our family party's they are all over each other, cant keep there hands off one another or he dedicates songs to her. One of our brothers friends have had feelings for her for years, he is crazy about her although she almost never talks to him and he will never get a chance as she is trowing her life away on a marriage so young. She is the youngest of 7 siblings and she is absolutely beautiful and has many opportunity's in life and because of him she is more interested in just living her life with him. He doesn't suit her and I don't want to see my sister get hurt. Any advice?

Aissata · #2 (**permalink**) 07-06-2010, 06:10 PM

Yeah, stay out of your sisters love life. It's NONE of your business.
Sorry, but he DOES suit her. They are happy and in love, it would be clear to a blind man.
And getting married in your early 20's is not to young to get married.
She doesn't talk to the brothers friend, because she is not interested.
And hate to say it but, you sound bitter and jealous.
Let your sister live her life the way SHE wants. You or other relatives don't get to pick her boyfriend or husband. That is up to her and her alone.

tmc · #3 (**permalink**) 07-11-2010, 06:10 PM

Trying to force her away from her fiance will only help in pushing her towards him. Let her live her life the way she wants to and make her own mistakes, it's how people learn. Insulating someone is more dangerous and can make them naive and thus vulnerable to the world at large.
Also, if she has no feelings towards your brother friend then it's unhealthy to allow him to keep his obsession going.
Talk to her, as a friend and sister but don't try and force her to do anything and just hope that she has learned something from her older siblings and that her marriage works
Assure her that no matter, you will always be there for her, whatever her design and the outcomes

Just tryin'to help · #4 (**permalink**) 07-16-2010, 06:10 PM

5 years is too long time for engaging

Mombo Mom · #5 (**permalink**) 07-21-2010, 06:10 PM

My advice to you is...you are her sister and you love her very much, it shows because you are so concerned about her. She is in love, and they want to be together, although she is only 22yo it is possible to be in love at that age. Your intentions and opinions clearly come from your heart - but you need to leave it, and let her and him get on with it and if it doesn't work out then so be it, but if it does fail it will fail in it's own time and not by you telling her to finish it. Let her make her own mistakes, as much as it hurts you. You are her sister, you just be there for her as she needs you, and maybe to even pick up the pieces if this does fail.
Maybe their marriage will work? Who are you to say it won't (no offense intended)?