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I'm hoping some people out there can give me some input on my current situation. I'm looking for people who have been in a similar situation as mine on either side of it and what advice you all can offer.
I'm 27 years old and back in December I met a guy at a party that was thrown by a mutual friend. I didn't think anything of it, I thought he was a cool guy but there were no serious sparks. We started hanging out in January up until March. I've never been good with relationships and it takes me awhile to really start to develop feelings for a guy. Normally, I'm usually the one that has no trouble breaking things off with a guy. Anyway, I started to find myself insanely attracted to everything about him. As weird as it sounds, I freaked out. I got really scared and started to distance myself from him and in some strange way for some reason I thought that would make me stop liking him. Long story short, in March he stopped talking to me for obvious reasons. It was 100% clear to him that I did not share the same feelings for him as he did for me. He really liked me and treated me great. He had no idea that I actually did like him.
When April came, the stupidity of my actions finally hit. I tried to reach out to him from April to May on several attempts apologizing to him and asking to meet again. I was obviously completely ignored. Not a single response. I decided that I could not do anything more and so I needed to move on from this. I literally still had strong feelings for him but you can't force someone to be with you. I also have to add that I never slept with him either. I dated other guys, concentrated on grad school and work. But I never ever stopped thinking about him and how much I wanted him.
Several weeks ago, I ran into him at random at a bar. He was with an ex of his. We were both uncomfortable but cordial enough. It was not the time nor place for us to talk about anything. I felt that there was something between us when I ran into him. You know someone still has some feelings for you and it was just clear that we both were so uncomfortable yet still liked each other. For seven months, I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I have never had these long feelings for anyone. No guy has been able to compare and I miss him. Neither of us had reached out to each other after running into each other. I don't know what he's thinking and I also don't want to come off needier than I probably already have. I'm giving it time and believe that whatever is meant to be will find it's way.
Any advice or thoughts please? Thanks!
Thanks everyone for the advice! I'll wait a bit and then send him a little message. I have to work up the nerve to do it.
Well if he truly does like/ love you. Shouldn't he be able to understand your past and wait for you to be ready to come towards him. Like I've had bad experience in the past so my boyfriend knows that certain things can wait till later. He doesn't mind going slow cause well he says he gets to spend time with an amazing girl. He can hug me, hold my hand and put his arm around me he re insures me that he loves me truthfully with all his heart. Well i think it works because it feels natural to be with him.
It's much easier to type this all out than do, I know cause I've been in a similar situation to you (I'm a guy though). Ask yourself and make sure wanting to be with him is all that you want. Then you should call him up, and arrange for a meet, lets be total cliche and say at a cafe. Next, just tell him (face-to-face) how you feel. If you don't, then chances are this situation will never be solved. Later in life, this is not something you want to look back and regret. I've left things too long, and now I'm still trying to get over her... but she's moved on now. Go after him!
I don't see anything wrong with trying to contact him just a casual call saying hey it was nice seeing you maybe we can go grab some lunch sometime ?? if he says yes then ask when would be a good time if he gives you the run around and doesn't call you back i think i would throw in the towel.
You really sum it up best to say: whatever is meant to be will find it's way
I have learned a man does what he wants to, if he had the desire to he would have contacted since. I would try to see him as the one that got away. I would make sure not to repeat that response next time someone of interest comes along. If you want/need closure, if you have a way to reach him, send him a note to say why you reacted as you did and just wish him happiness. He no doubt felt rejected by the initial attempt to date you and an explanation may make you both feel better to move on.
It sounds like BOTH of you were hurt by your actions. Write him a short note (it shows more interest that just a text message) and see where it goes. The note should apologize (briefly, since you say you already have apologized to him, he may not have ever understood your attempts...) for any pain you caused him, and tell him that you wish him the best- it was good to see him again. An uplifting, encouraging message. See if he responds back. If he does, take the next step and suggest getting together for coffee (a coke, NOT dinner) and see if the two of you can start communicating again, but BETTER this time...
Need some honest (not rude) love advice please!?
