Help what should I do? I'm in love with a man with lots of baggage?

Pumagirrl · #1 (**permalink**) 01-12-2009, 09:05 PM

We met a year ago and were just friends. We started hanging out more and started a relationship. I was willing to look past the baggage at the time. We would spend lots of time together and we were happy. Well the baggage is he has 5 children by 5 women. They are all young. There is not lots of drama from the women, the kids are nice, but I find myself getting jealous sometimes when I think about him having so much baggage. I broke off the relationship because of my jealous feelings and because if we did we married we would never have enough money for our kids we would have together because he has so many outside kids and I don't have any kids. I love him and he is making it hard to let go. He says he doesn't want to loose me. I don't know what to do.

art@art · #2 (**permalink**) 01-17-2009, 09:05 PM

Big red flag: 5 children by 5 women. 'Nuff said.

Edward L · #3 (**permalink**) 01-22-2009, 09:05 PM

This guy is a complete tool! Five children by five women? WTF? Find a good guy who doesn't F*** every girl he comes across! Then raise your OWN children, together! My God!

Pamela T · #4 (**permalink**) 01-25-2009, 09:05 PM

At one point those 5 women all felt like you. Notice they're gone now. He obviously isn't responsible or he would use BC. You'll never have any money with him and if you have a child good luck squeezing 2 dimes out of what's left, if he even works.

Your Gay Lord · #5 (**permalink**) 01-27-2009, 09:05 PM

I'm going to quote you. "I love him.' What do YOU think you should do? You already know what you FEEL for HIM. Or are you looking for strings attached love? Because that's what 97 percent of American females today are looking for. Then they come on here 3 years later asking why the hell didn't their relationship work out!!!!!!!! I gave it to you. Figure out.

Carrie B · #6 (**permalink**) 01-31-2009, 09:05 PM

There is a saying......How you do anything is how you do everything. He has 5 kids with 5 women, he didn't make a commitment to any of those women, he won't make a commitment to you either, it is not in his nature. If you want a man to make a commitment to you, and support you and your future kids, then you need to let this guy go. Make a list of deal breakers, and then stick to your list. If a man doesn't make the criteria of what you are looking for in a man, then you have the wrong man, any man, so you need to move forward. You can fall in love with someone who meets your needs too. It is foolish to stay with this man, he is not magically going to turn into a Prince. He wasn't a Prince to 5 other women, and he won't magically get morals for you. I am sorry he is such a bad person, but you answered your own question. Focus on your needs in a relationship, any relationship, and only date guys who meet your needs. You are wasting time with this guy because you are afraid to be alone, or maybe you are looking for some kind of approval from him that you didn't get from your father, but you need to just dump him and move forward and find someone who is committed to you and your future hopes and dreams. Be who you were meant to be, don't put yourself down and just settle for someone, chase your dreams.