Teen love advice- im a guy?

KitKat · #1 (**permalink**) 06-02-2010, 11:55 PM

so the background is Me and my girlfriend have been dating for the past 6 months and i really like her. we are both 16 and we are used to just hanging out after school by some park and just make out. recently, me and my ff were laying next to each other and she told me she loved me and kissed me. Afterward she looked at me expecting me to say it back and i changed the convoy really quickly, and she took the hint. i just do not know if i really love her yet. she left like almost 10 Min's after the incident and made some excuse why she had to go. then on her face book she post this like encrypted message so only i knew what it meant basically saying "i thought he cared". Now we are still together but now in school she purposefully flirts with other guys in front of me and pretty much just treats me like I'm a friend. Also now i can tell she gets super pissed when i hang out with other girls and just talk for longer than 30 Min's. Ive talked to her about it and she just says it nothing and that "she was just being stupid by saying she loved me". So she was acting back to normal after that but then she started to get super pissed again. So i actually took her into private and started to talk to her and like i asked what the hell is wrong and she just Sayers to "forget it". "I then say no, i want you to tell me." Then she Sayers "you should know" and breaks up with me and leaves. Later i hear from all of her friends- that are mad at me for some re son- that she has been crying and stuff. what do i do. i this because i didnt say i love you to her also cause it is pissing me off

Miss Behavin · #2 (**permalink**) 06-07-2010, 11:55 PM

Get with her best friend. That will teach her a lesson.

aprilyogini · #3 (**permalink**) 06-09-2010, 11:55 PM

It shouldn't take 6 months to figure out if you love a girl. If you didn't love her you shouldn't lead her to believe you do by 'making out with her at the park'. -Cuz then you're just using her.

I may be biased but I kinda see it from her point of view. She's embarrassed that you didn't say it back and she's probably pissed because you've kissed her or whatever but you don't love her so ...how do you feel about her? Is she a toy? Let her know how you feel man but don't lead her on!
Take Carree

Wants2gohome 2 · #4 (**permalink**) 06-10-2010, 11:55 PM

Well, mum.. it was Ur mistake that u didn't tell her u love her too and she may have been expecting that I'd say. BUT, Ur girlfriend is just creating a big issue out of it. OR, the reason they're angry maybe that she was angry just to show that u should know that u would've said IL too.. but u didn't and u acted as if u dint know anything which may have caused more trouble.. try to talk to her and apologies .. give her something that is dear to u

good luck

hope it helps.. xx

Latha · #5 (**permalink**) 06-11-2010, 11:55 PM

hammy, man you cant blame her man. 6 months is a while, and honestly I feel like you should have said you loved her and meant it. Esp if you guys have been making out like all the time ha ha. And you should know whats wrong. You like broke her heart/slapped her in the face. If I were you, I would seriously think fast weather you do love her or not, and tell her ASAP.

The Great Beyond · #6 (**permalink**) 06-13-2010, 11:55 PM

She's really hurt. It's not just that you didn't say you loved her back, but that you didn't even respond, she probably also thought WayTyo into it because that's what girl's do when there in love. She wants you to want her, that's why she would flirt with other guys, and make you want her more. Even if you don't love her, you obviously care, so you just need to prove that you really do care, whether its being there for her, or telling her yourself. don't let her go without her knowing how you feel, she'll be heart broken.
Good Luck(:

William R · #7 (**permalink**) 06-18-2010, 11:55 PM

This similar thing happened to me - I had a boyfriend and he always told me he loved me, and at first i never said it back, and he asked why. I told him that i don't love him, I like him and I'm only 16 big freaking deal. He understood and didn't mind.

- I think what her problem is that her feelings are hurt, she really opened up to you and let you know how she feels and you kind of shut her down. you left her open and vulnerable, and you didn't return the affection.

- it isn't your fault, but for future reference - if you kind of have an idea of what is wrong, don't keep asking what is wrong. for instance in that situation when she broke up with you. you should have said 'I do care about you a lot, but I'm not ready for love. i still wanna be with you' and then apologize.

- you never know how one is going to react, i can't tell you why she is acting so crazy. but it depends on if you want her back or not. if you do, then you need to apologize and say something to help her forgive you. Then its all up to her. - but don't keep harassing her if she cant make her mind up. say what you have to say and leave it.

- And if her friends are your friends, well you need to speak to them - tell them that what has happened has nothing to do with them, and that you hope it doesn't cause anything between yous.

- If you don't want her back, and you cant understand what she does. then i would suggest on forgetting about her. you seem like a nice guy, and she doesn't deserve you.

Note// i kind of in a way, disagree with what others have been saying. that if your in a relationship at 16 then you should love her. being a teen is about experimenting, and being in a relationship. yes, you should really care about her, and like them deeply, unlike any other. But it doesn't have to go as far as 'love', if all teen relationships were 'love' it would last longer, and mean more. at such a time in your life, its about lust, desire, infatuation, what you like. etc etc. - and most guys, have trouble saying exactly what they feel, and or are confused about what they feel.
I can understand that, you really like her on a deep level, but not go as far as being in-love with her. because i have been in the same situation before.
(People often realize, when they fall in-love, its often unlike anything they have ever felt before - that's kind of what I'm saying)

I hope this helps. all the best.

Vivena · #8 (**permalink**) 06-22-2010, 11:55 PM

What are you asking exactly? Why she's upset? If so, she's obviously upset because you didn't give her the response she was looking for after she professed her love to you. Not that you're in the wrong here -- she's just having a difficult time accepting the fact that she developed feelings for you faster than you did for her. I imagine it's not that uncommon.