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my husband has shows MAJOR signs of bipolar schizophrenia. he mumbles to himself, he's EXTREMELY paranoid, he has the extreme highs and lows of bipolar, he is very promiscuous, the list just goes inn and inn. with all of this on and off for 6 years he has been an alcoholic and has a major problem with Oxycontin and we suspect heroin. when he doesn't get the Oxycontin he drinks rum by the gallons. I've known him for six years but he claimed and hid very well that he was clean and sober for over a year ( or i wouldn't have even gotten with him in the first place). he relapsed 2 times that i know of. long story short i got pregnant and we got married and about 2 months in money started missing jewelry i had purchased for him started missing i started noticing the mumbling to himself and the pacing and the constantly having to touch things and position things a million times. he constantly lied before we got married about where he was going and what he was doing. he went through all of the money we had for baby things and every day was just a constant fight that he would start so he could leave. i warned him multiple times if it he kept relapsing i would leave him and he did exactly that full throttle. if anyone going through or has gone through the same thing? any advice? I'm not a crazy person that would keep their child away from them but I'm genuinely scared for my daughters safety.
its possible to have bipolar schizophrenia. they just have multiple symptoms of different things
and yes i knew it was drugs i warned him if he did drugs again i would leave him but he still chose to do it and i haven't had the baby yet Lil so i cant really talk to her as of yet which is what scares the heck out of me because she isn't old enough to speak up fo rherself.
thank you so much the last 2 people for those comments they truly helped me a lot. especially the last one. this is extremely hard for me but im extremely fortunate to have my family backing me in this and being extremely supportive and am very blessed and it feels good to hear from other people that im truly doing the right thing. he says he doesnt want to go to rehab because he doesnt want to tarnish his name.... daddys a big shot at the company that he works at... it just crushes me to find out that he was cheating and stealing and everything.
He obviously is on drugs since money and jewelry go missing and dealing with a drug addict is hard on its own. Has he ever gone to a psychiatrist about his mental problems? A lot of people turn to drugs because they never received any kind of professional treatment. Anyway, neither you or your daughter should be around such a person. If you want to divorce him, take him to family court and ask the judge that he take a drug test to show that he is an unfit father. You can receive help from the government if you have trouble at first, there is welfare, section 8, etc. You will be much better without him and I am glad that you are doing this for both yours and your daughters safety, as there are women who ignore the situation. Good luck.
I know that people who are bi-polar can show symptoms of schizophrenia but I'm not sure if a person can be diagnosed with both. You would have to speak to a psychiatrist about his symptoms.
Talk to your daughter, tell her that she is not to talk to her father, and if she does meet him or get a call from him or something like that, tell her to tell you immediately. If you're not around, have her carry an emergency cell phone if she doesn't have one already. Make sure there are other numbers in there for her of people that can be trusted to come pick her up and get her out of there if she can't reach you. Hopefully that helps...you don't have to forbid her from carrying on her life, this is just a precaution in case she does run into him.
My best friend went through this with her husband (it's just called 'bipolar disorder'). They were married for 10 years before it reared its head; she too was never told he had suffered from it in the past. He is a super intelligent guy who gradually worked himself up from paranoia to believing he was Jesus. He drove all over the country buying all kinds of crap; really strange stuff like 5 lawnmowers, sets of dishes, etc. Spent tens of thousands of dollars. She eventually had to commit him involuntarily so she could get him help; she was scared he would hurt himself. (By the way this is very, very difficult to do, from a legal standpoint.) He is now on melds and back to his old self.
If he is bipolar or schizophrenic, you cannot 'make' him stop and he cannot make himself stop. He needs to get to a professional and get on melds ASAP. The drinking and drug use is probably self medication and might very likely stop once he gets the help he needs. If he refuses to see a psychiatrist, you need to do what's best for you and the baby. You should never, ever stay with someone who frightens you.
personally, i was addicted to meths really bad, and the paranoia from the drug over time gave a temporary form of paranoid schizophrenia, it took about a year + rehab to recover, so you need to find him a way to get off of it, especially with him Dion Oxus and drink in on top of it, i have friends than are messed up in the head from painkillers and booze. i suggest rehab, and if he won't go, get away cause he'll just make things hard for you
Hi, it's really very good that you are able to identify so many of the issues with your husband and in your relationship. I do have personal understanding as I have experienced most everything you have expressed, tweak it here and there, throw in a batch more children and some added years. I know all about the lies, addictions, starting the fight to get out, promiscuity, selfishness..I find that I am always able to think clearly when I'm distanced from him and reestablish my strength and boundaries. Then when he is around he drains me of my energy and resolve. If you feel you can get out of this and you have even one great friend for support you should strongly consider following through. I bet he thinks nothing is wrong with him, hasn't taken any accountability for the marital problems and doesn't speak of rehab, melds or counsel ling. Of course that could crop up on the rare occasions that he feels scared of losing his comfort zone. Doubt it. I think you do need to be concerned for the physical well being of yourself and your daughter. No doubt this has taken a toll mentally and emotionally. It will end up effecting you physically headaches/migraines, stomacher aches, general tiredness, fatigue, appetite you name it. Bottom line is know that you deserve better, your daughter as well. Your husband is not operating at his best between the drugs and possible unmediated mental condition. He has learned to self medicate and created an unhealthy addiction. If he doesn't recognize your value it's up to you to remind yourself. I'm sure this relationship isn't chalking up to meet your dreams. You and your daughter will be fantastic together. You will have new found peace and energy that you may have forgot was possible. Any change is going to have to come on your part, meaning move out, start proceedings whatever you need to do. You may want to gather some tips on planning from a women's shelter as these bad relationships often get volcanic when separating looks like it's becoming a reality. Then take time to heal and nurture yourself and your child.
You need to leave him, and stay gone. He has serious, serious problems that he needs to work out on his own without endangering you or your child. Move in with your parents, get an apartment of your own, move in with friends, go anywhere else that you can... just don't stay with him.
You made a threat - that you would leave if he had another relapse - and you need to hold to your word. Leave, and do not let him sweet talk you into coming back because he "loves you" and "can't live without you." He will use every line in the book, but don't listen to them. The bottom line is that he is mentally ill, you are a victim of his illness as long as you stay there with him, and you have a child whose safety is the most important thing here.
I understand that you don't want to keep your daughter away from her father, nobody wants their child to grow up fatherless, but having no father is better than being around a mentally unstable, alcoholic, drug-addicted father who cannot be trusted. Maybe he will realize that he has to man up and be a father to this little girl and a good husband to you, and that will be the motivation he needs to finally get clean. That would be ideal. But that might not be how it works... he may choose drugs over you and your baby, and you have to realize that this might be your reality. You may have to file to remove his parental rights one day, and your daughter may have to grow up without her father. I really hope that is not the case for you or her, but you have to be ready to acknowledge that this might happen if he doesn't get his act together.
In fact, I think you should tell him this very, very clearly before you leave. When you leave make it clear to him that you are leaving because his behavior is hurting you and will be hurtful to your child, and that she will have no contact with him until he is sober and receiving the mental health care he needs. If he never gets sober, then he will never see his daughter. That is not a threat, it's a promise, and you have to be ready to stand by that promise to protect your daughter.
newly single mother would love some advice?
