Guys i need some advices to forget someone you loved and hurt you ?
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Guys i need some advices to forget someone you loved and hurt you ?
details :
I loved someone so much but he hurt me and now am sure that we will never be friends but i really want to forget him because i feel so sad all the time , i need some advices about how to forget someone you love and things that make me feel good again
please help ;(
Family, friends, box 360 (black ops isn't bad, only frustrating at times, but not the same kind of anger ), weed (with other people of course), vacations, a dog, positive thinking, music you would listen when you had good times or when you were a kid, comedy movies and stand up comedy is fun, ''watching the game, having' a bud!''
Mmmm work overtime , dint go to the same places you went with your boyfriend mm what else, go to gym or find a new best friend to hang out ,keep busy all the time
You never forget people you once loved, even if you don't feel the same way now. You're going to hurt for a while, and as time moves on, so will you. Your pain will lessen, your wounds will heal, but you'll never forget this person you once loved, no matter how much they hurt you. Sometimes, the contrast of love and pain will make the person so much harder to forget.
Time. It is about the only thing I *know* that can help.
Today, most swear by a 'revenge lay,' where they just hook up with someone to have sex, and they say this makes it easier to put the person behind you. Of course, most guys say this, so I don't know if it works as well with ladies. I do know, that finding someone else can help. They distract you.
Most girls, and some men, though, have problems with their 'first' love. This usually applies to their first physical lover, but it can also be the first one they really, really care for. We would call that 'true love,' but it is rare today. Sadly, there is nothing that I have seen that will help ease the pain for your first physical lover. S/he is special and a first, and that betrayal tends to stay with you forever. Time, though, helps ease it some. Everyone, it seems, remembers their first time, and the sting tends to remind you that anyone can do that to you again.
After my wife died, I was forced to wonder if it was easier to lose her to death, or to see her with other men, like we do after a divorce or breakup. An ex-girlfriend of mine came back to answer that, I guess. Even though I still care for her, it isn't the same. I watched her hook up with a real jerk, who ended up killing her. Losing my wife to death, I think, was easier. I still cared for my ex-girlfriend, and it hurt to see her with this jerk, but it was an ongoing suffering. It was less, after time, but you never really stop caring about some people. Worse, her murderer got off due to this corrupt court system, like so many do today.
In a way, being 'friends' may not be the best anyway. Wouldn't you still hope to get back with him? A clean split so you can go your own ways may be the best. Later on, you may be able to be friends again, after you have healed some. You may even see why you weren't meant to be with him. In my case, this was what happened. We were just too young to know what life was about, and it couldn't have worked.
Talking can help, but few want to listen today. Also, the older you are when this happens, the less it tends to 'hurt.' I guess we start holding back some, after years of being hurt and abused, so that we never give 100% again, to feel that pain. I think this is why so many today want NSA relationships (No Strings Attached), where they just hit the sheets and never worry about caring for each other.
You can't forget about someone if you've got memories literally strewn in all aspects of your life. What I mean is you need to get rid of everything that reminds you of him: everything he gave to you. (obviously some things you can't, like furniture, so a simple drape will suffice). Next you want to avoid looking for his vehicle, listening to music/watching movies y'all use to enjoy with each other, avoid seeking his status updates on on line social networks, and avoid routes that take you past his work/home. (a.k.a. avoid stalking).
After you have effectively disinfected your life from his memory, you need to work on your mental stability (get back to being you ). This is rather simple. First, don't converse with your friends about what went wrong/happened etc... This only retains him in your thoughts which doesn't help the healing process, it only drives the pain deeper. Second you want to find something fun, and exciting that requires your full attention. Things like sports (paintball, rock climbing, Zumba, etc... there are literally hundreds of activities that would suffice. Your main goal is to get active in something that keeps you from being able to think of him) Third, get to meeting other people. This will build your confidence and a mental reaction will occur telling you that you are worth dating and that he was the one who messed up. Fourthly, avoid staying at home, if you get an invite somewhere, take it! Obviously your going to want to stay at home cause it feels like all of your energy has been sapped, but this is definitely a NO! .... Being alone allows you to think and emotions usually fuel thought, so your likely to think about him and Vila your depressed again. Finally, avoid sleeping alto, like I mentioned earlier, it feels like your energy has been sapped, but over sleeping puts you in a lethargic state (meaning you feel like you've got no energy, irritable, and despite having slept loads, you feel like you haven't slept an ounce. Also some of the worst headaches occur during a lethargic state).
I know the feeling of heartache and the pain associated with rejection, God knows I've had my fair share, but you can't let that keep you from living YOUR life. It can lead to depression and anti-sociability. I hope this helps, and may God Bless!
Firmly resolve now to stop thinking about the person involved. Make yourself exercise, and go out, even if you don't enjoy it, at first: it will provide one way of stopping you from thinking about your present life situation. Understand that memories fade, with the passing of time, and ask yourself where you will be in 5 years time, and 10. Most people go through similar things, though not to the same extent, and it's common for many relationships to begin, and end, especially when younger. Use the following: Technique for Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognize that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind. Having identified and la belled it, visualize a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!"
You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualize a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, after wards, if you use this method. It's a good idea to only emotionally invest in a relationship, according to its length of time, and the degree of commitment from BOTH of the people involved. Express your feelings in a letter, and either post it, unaddressed, or have a ceremony, and burn it safely in a metal container, and flush the ashes down the toilet, symbolically ending the relationship, which has zero potential for anything, except causing you further distress. Give time a chance to heal, then open yourself to the possibility of a relationship with someone new. At: http://www.2knowmyself.com you may want to try: "How to get over someone" (top left hand side), or possibly even: http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationship_?
At http://www.wikihow.com enter "breakups" in the search bar. Try your bookstore, library database, or the search bar at http://www.amazon.com for: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down by Kristina DE la Cal & When It's Over : How to Mend that Broken Heart by Darren G. Burton. Also see: http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/handling-a-breakup.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthEmotionalHealth_ 20100509 & http://www.breakupgirl.net Most people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/g.html
Guys i need some advices to forget someone you loved and hurt you ?
), weed (with other people of course), vacations, a dog, positive thinking, music you would listen when you had good times or when you were a kid, comedy movies and stand up comedy is fun, ''watching the game, having' a bud!''
). This is rather simple. First, don't converse with your friends about what went wrong/happened etc... This only retains him in your thoughts which doesn't help the healing process, it only drives the pain deeper. Second you want to find something fun, and exciting that requires your full attention. Things like sports (paintball, rock climbing, Zumba, etc... there are literally hundreds of activities that would suffice. Your main goal is to get active in something that keeps you from being able to think of him) Third, get to meeting other people. This will build your confidence and a mental reaction will occur telling you that you are worth dating and that he was the one who messed up. Fourthly, avoid staying at home, if you get an invite somewhere, take it! Obviously your going to want to stay at home cause it feels like all of your energy has been sapped, but this is definitely a NO! .... Being alone allows you to think and emotions usually fuel thought, so your likely to think about him and Vila your depressed again. Finally, avoid sleeping alto, like I mentioned earlier, it feels like your energy has been sapped, but over sleeping puts you in a lethargic state (meaning you feel like you've got no energy, irritable, and despite having slept loads, you feel like you haven't slept an ounce. Also some of the worst headaches occur during a lethargic state).
