I'm having a problem that isn't necessarily relationship related, but I can't think of any other way to categorize it. In short, I'm in a desperate need to get over someone. For the long story, some back story is required.
In highschool and way before that, I was a really ambitious guy who wanted his life to be full of fun, but in reality of was very afraid of going out and doing that. I was always afraid of every little detail, lots of "what if this doesn't work out" or "what if this turns out to be dangerous" kind of things. I never took risks and kept to myself. Near the last few years of highschool, a girl moved to my school who shared many interests with me. I thought she'd be a good friend so I decided to introduce myself to her. It turned out she was a girl with similar interests to me, but the rest of the school didn't want to know her because she didn't fit in with everyone else (we were nerds lol). In the end, I ended up being one of her only friends there, and we became relatively close.
The thing is, the more I hung out with this girl, the more I did the things I've always wanted to do. It made me feel alive since she helped give me the courage to do the things I've always wanted to do, mainly travel and dance. We did a ton of things together, and I started to get a crush on her. I do regret never doing anything about it, since I feared being turned down (stupid I know, but nothing I can do now), but we remained close friends.
The whole time I knew her, she seemed like she was from another world though. She mentally belonged where she grew up which wasn't my town. When we graduated, she moved back to her hometown 2 states away. This is where my problem started.
She cut contact with everyone she knew where I lived except me. She usually only stays in contact with those she sees often because she likes to keep everything in her life simple it seems. However she kept me for a time, in contact. Then one day, she suddenly started to ignore me, and cut contact with me too. About a year passed without hearing anything from her, but everything reminded me of her. I wanted to be in contact with her again so badly. I started to become obsessed the more time passed not seeing her.
We met by chance at a convention during this. We go to the same things (she got me into them) so we were bound to meet anyway. We talked briefly to catch up and everything was like it used to be. But then she left and the whole process repeated itself. I felt good knowing she's doing alright, but then slowly needed to see her again. Which brings me to my current problem.
I can't ever get her out of my head for a day! I don't want to forget the good times we had, but I also can't keep dwelling on her and relying on her. I've changed so much since she left and I'm so much more self reliant but she's always there in my mind! I don't know how to get over her, I've tried all the usual steps that I'd find online for relationships (replace them with someone else, have more fun by yourself, tear up a paper with their name on it etc.) but a part of me is constantly nagging at me making me want to have to see her!
This is so stupid having this constant need to see someone who was just a friend. It's obsessive and scary. I respect her decisions and life and hope she does well and understand that she's gone, but I need to get my sanity back lol. I kind of feel like I need to do something, like I'm regretting something and that I'm trying to clear that regret up. It's that kind of feeling too.
I don't have any idea how to truly fix this, and I'd rather not have to pay for a psychiatrist. I'm not sure if anyone here has any ideas. I think I need to talk to someone who might know something about getting over someone rather than look at these cookie cutter answers to solving relationship problems.
Any ideas are welcome
Getting over someone
