What thoughts/ideas/habits can help you learn to love men more?

DidoDeeDee · #1 (**permalink**) 01-04-2009, 03:40 AM

I was raised by an unintentional man-hater. My mother was sexually abused as a child and has emotional scars against men in general. I now see that some of her"policies"were passed on to me without my prior knowledge or approval. Other than the obvious (counseling) what other steps can I take to overcome this subtle unintended brainwashing?

F.A.Q. · #2 (**permalink**) 01-06-2009, 07:06 PM

Try to find a good, caring man friend. I married my best friend and grew up basically in the same situation. There are things I don't like about my hubby(who doesn't have those) but he more than makes up for the bad in the relationship.

it's ME · #3 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 07:09 AM

That's so unfortunate that you've had that kind of biased exposure. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. This reminds me a lot of the way I was taught to look at blacks growing up. Now that I've moved away and live in a larger city, I find that there is more comparison WITHIN a group than there is BETWEEN groups. For instace, if you compare all women against each other, you're going to find great women, bad women, and even child molesting women. If you compare all men, you'll find the same. When you compare woman TO men, you'll find there's not that much difference other than physiological things that alter some behaviors, but not too many to hate one or the other.

jim · #4 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 02:10 PM

the counseling will give any good help you should need.something that i could suggest, is when you notice that you are hating some poor guy simply because he's got something between his legs that you don't, step back and think to yourself"i'm doing it again"after a while, before you're about to pour thunder on some unsuspecting fella, you will stop before you do it, and start thinking"i'm about to do it again"taking this time to step back and give yourself that self-admission will actually cool you down a bit