I'm having an affair w/ married man...and I am married too,we love...but feeling guil

Even though I'd like to say, stay with your husband because of your children, I don't think that will work here. You have been having an affair with this man for more then a year and things seem to be getting serious. I feel it would be best if you separated from your spouses. You shouldn't be in a relationship, let alone a marriage, with someone you don't really love. It will torture the both of you for the rest of your lives.

Get Real. Your children can sense that all is not right whether you think they do or not. Sounds like a good excuse to fool yourselves with. A better question to ask yourselves is is doing another wrong thing in your lives really going to solve why you're so unhappy with who you each have? Do you truly love each other or is it just that he is a nice escape from what you don't want to deal with?

Doing it for the children is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Staying in a marriage that you are miserable in will just hurt the kids in the long run, and besides you are already breaking your marriage vow, so getting a divorce shouldn't be that hard. I cannot feel sympathy for this situation, because my ex-husband had an affair on me,and well I am now very happily raising my 4 kids alone.The feelings of guilt should tell you something. I say put it out in the open and get it over with, because the longer you wait the harder the feelings are going to be against you. Your kids wouldn't want to know someday they were in a home based on lies.

Think.... Just because he tells you he doesn't love his wife, doesn't make it true. Most men will tell someone they want to f<OK anything. If he didn't love his wife, he would have left her already. Women stick it out, men usually leave, whether children are involved or not. it's their nature. You need leave this man alone (if he cheats on his wife, he'll sooner or later cheat on you). you need to try to make things better between you and your husband and if it doesn't work, divorce, move on. find someone who's not currently involved with someone. save yourself the pain.

Think about your children and his children, not yourselves. I find that very selfish and self centered. Find a counselor and remember what attracted you to your husband. Affairs with married people with children only hurt the innocent ones that don't have a clue that they are being hurt every time you guys are together.

dammit, I had a really great answer up here and the computer froze - dammit

Bad move. Not to love the new guy. But to stay with the old guy because of the kids. Same for your boyfriend. If you two are happy together. If you're truly in love....then divorce and you can be together. Dual divorces will definitely test the strength of your love. The kids will be better off with parents who are in love then miserable and arguing all the time. Never stay together for the kids. Good luck.

Be honest with your spouses for everyone involved. I suggest you be very sure of your decision to divorce....your decision will be like dropping a rock in the lake...the ripple effects many people... not just the two of you. Think about it.

Boy I tell you. Thinga people do to solve a problem. Both of
you are very wrong. Both of you are married. Been together for a year because neither of you love your spouses. then what did you get married for then? You don't marry someone you don't love. That's childish. Both of you need to back off until you both are divorced. I smell adultery big time.
And the mess is going to hit the fan. Sparks will fly. And
feelings will get hurt. Both of you are asking for trouble.

Wow! well, I'm in a 10 year marriage and 4 days ago i told her i was having an affair. I told her everything and it was and is the hardest thing I've ever done. What i can tell you is that i am free of the burden of lying to my wife but she is now in a lot of pain from what I've done. GO TO COUNSELING WITH YOU HUSBAND OR GET A DIVORCE! once you have gotten to this point someone WILL get hurt, that's the nature of it. Decide, as i am right now; what do you want? Do you want to find out why you dint love him and leave the other man or do you want to face the F'N HELL of divorce? it's tough...i know...i wish sometimes that someone else could just make these decisions for us

You are a S--T!!!! You are not thinking of your kids only your self. As far as being married and screwing a married man. How do you look at your self in the morning knowing you have two men docking you. How about the wife he goes back home too. Are u so stupid to believe what men say just to get in your pants. When it comes down to it, he wont leave his wife and kids. There is a saying "CHEAPER TO KEEP HER". Besides as long as your accepting it why should he leave. He gets to have the wife at home and the hoe in the street. Good Luck...