I'm having an affair w/ married man...and I am married too,we love...but feeling guil

I would consult a marriage counselor, by yourself.

Considering the situation I think there is nothing else to do, aside from the separation.

both of you need to tell your mates the truth and try to figure something out don't do what you think is best for the children do what is best for you

poor kids.

regardless of what you do now they'll be affected by it negatively in some manner.

so why don't you divorce your respective spouses and get together? i mean, you shouldn't have been having an affair in the first place, but who am i? anyway, if you don't love your spouses, then you should leave, never mind the children. what i mean is, don't stay miserable because of the kids. it'll never work.

Well you know what I think? And I'm sure you'll agree. You my friend, are a terrible wife, mother, and person... shame on you...

oh dear its not Ur fault we all know that love is blind but try to take care about Ur husband u may find good thing in him too which makes u love him try

stop drinking

You need to take a long look in the mirror. If you have kids and your worried about them then you wouldn't be doing something that could take them away from you. If you want out get out on your own and then start seeing someone not while your at home. What makes you think he is not cheating on you too, 90% of the time if your with a man that is cheating to be with you, he will cheat on you before it over

follow Ur heart and stay with the man that u think will respect u and OT force u to do things unwanted. i hope u make the right choice cause once their gone they won't come back.if u need help talk to someone u trust w/ Ur secrets. make sure its neither of those guys. well, good luck.
angel

You need to do what the other response said and first STOP drinking, second cut the games out b4 someone gets hurt, killed, and embarrassed! I know you're having fun sneaking around but having too much fun always leads to disaster. Like gambling you must know when to stop while you're still ahead.

You have the right idea about asking for help but you're asking the wrong person/s. Everyone can give you the best advise they think is possible but they are not trained in this. So what one person says may be great advise and there seems to be a lot of it here from the other answers you need to get counseling. A councilor can help you find different options that you may not have considered. Maybe even help in telling your current husband that you want to leave him. I disagree with not thinking of the children in your decision. The one thing I suggest is make sure the children are taken care of no matter what your chose is. They will need counseling as well. But remember if you are unhappy then they probably are too. You as parents can and always will be their parents and love them, no matter if you're with the father/mother or not. You can be happy with another man and still be a parent. Look around it is a part of today?s society. Lots of families have made it work. If they can do it then you can too.

If i were you i would put this new relationship on hold, you need to deal with the marriage that your already in, talk to your husband and find out if there is any hope left in your marriage, you never know there might just be, but right now you cant see that because your sidetracked, I'm not saying that your marriage WILL work, but at any rate you never know, your husband might have good reasons for pulling away, and if you knew what was gong on in your marriage, it might make all the difference, but aether way, if your going to try to keep your husband or find a way to move out and start your own life, you need to do that as a independent person, with out anyone swaying your thoughts, a divorce is a very expensive step in life (mentally,emotionally and financially) and you need to get your mind focused and off of extracurricular activities if you will... if i were you i would try to get away for a few days with your husband and have a heart to heart with him, regardless of what you feel in your heart about your husband, you owe it to your kids to try to not put them threw a pain full, scary divorce, kids go threw the biggest emotional telecaster when there parents get divorced, make sure the pain they will go threw is really really worth it in the long run, know what i mean? I hope that helps

You should first decide if you want to be with your husband or without him. Then either end the affair and work on your marriage or let your husband go so he can go on with his life. If you no longer want to be with him it is unfair to him. Plus I hope you are being careful sleeping around...hello...AIDS??

well i m speaking from a child view on this one if u and your husband r fighting all the time and stuff u r harming the kids more then u know when your parents fight it makes u think that it is your fault and u try to figure out what u Haw done wrong so if r worried about the kids then maybe a separation would be better for the kids

that's bad. just do what your heart asks you to do. if you love he be with him but make sure that you finish the other relationship that yo have at this moments.

When you make statements like "I don not love my husband anymore, and he do not love his wife", I question ones motives. I believe a lot of marital problems come from lack of self reflection on both spouse parts. So now you are in the honeymoon phase with the other man and everything looks peachy. Well why is it that you find it hard to divorce? The kids may be a factor, but the two of you have already chosen each other over the kids. So what I see is selfishness. Marriage is hard and without knowing what your husbands transgressions are against you, I would say that you need to seek counseling or help from somewhere other than the other man.

If the marriage(s) are over than end them. The two of you may be setting yourselves up for a very nasty situation. Everyday you see in the news of people hurting one another because of secrets. What if the two significant others found out for themselves, what then?

Be very careful playing with people's emotions, because we are all fragile. Either seek help, or if you know that the other man is the man for you, set your spouse free (I personally don't condone this option. I think that every option should be exhausted before a marriage is dissolved). Staying together for the kids is not healthy because they need to see their parents interact in a kind and loving way. Our kids watch us very closely.

So I say seek help and find out what was inside you that brought you to this place where you are at now. It can't hurt.

Good Luck

Wt

You both should have guilt and shame for what you are doing. Your children needs a Mother they can look up to and not one who is busy causing problems with another person marriage....K