Love Advice Desperately Needed - Should I Stay Or Go?
Love AdviceDon't risk asking for love advice from someone who doesn't care. We are passionate about helping our community through their most complicated love questions. No matter how big or small you believe situation to be, let us shine our love advice upon you.
Love Advice Desperately Needed - Should I Stay Or Go?
Ok here's the situation. I'm 26 years old and engaged to a man who's been my best friend since we were dorky 15 year ODs. So needless to say I deeply love and respect this man. However, about a year ago, he finally introduced me to his older best friend "John." They are practically like brothers. But from the moment I met his friend "John", we clicked instantly, and I fell for him in a way I've never fallen for anyone. I love my fiance but we have almost completely opposite personalities. Meanwhile me and his best friend John are so much alike it's almost scary. He's truly everything I never thought I'd find in a person. Now I don't know what to do. Sometimes I just want to call off my engagement, because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with one man but be in love with another. On the other hand, I don't want to mess up what would be a life-long union just because I have the hots for the best man. Do I leave, or do I get over this, grow up, and marry the man I've chosen?
I'd like to thank everyone for their well wishes and taking out time to help me with this problem. All your responses have made me realize that there are no short-term "quickie" answers, but that I will need real time to myself to figure out what I want, before going through with something as serious as marriage. For the record, I've never told John how I feel, because I'm really not interested in wrecking a friendship. So I have no idea if the feeling is mutual. I remember once he said that if my fiance ever got hit by a bus, he would snatch me up. But he said it in a joking way, so I didn't allow myself to take it seriously. Either way, I plan to take your suggestions and take some time out to really listen to my heart, and think about what I want my future to be. Thank you so much everyone!
You know the answer to this question is deep down in your heart. Who do you love and see yourself with for the rest of your life? That is a question you need to answer for you self first. Good Luck, and God Bless!
go- it would be so unfair to your fiance to marry him if you have "the hots" for his best friend- and if you truly loved him you wouldn't be attracted to anyone else- split now before marriage- divorce hurts worse and cost more in the long run
according to me,if u 2 have different personalities,the marriage won't work for long.its best to be with the one u really click with and vice-verse...besides its not too late either..but it can be a bit risky.
beware the wolf in sheep's clothing , this guy sound like he clicks with you CZ he probably knows about you from you fiancee. that's cool but dint go chasing waterfalls
Take some time out and think over. Don't go for instant reactions... it could be fatal in the long run.
Do not take any hasty decision, either of calling off engagement or getting married right away. Since you're seeing a difference in feelings, ask yourself what you need, take your time, decide and then go further.
It's bad to break the heart of your fiance, it's equally bad to be in a relation when you want something else.
Also, remember, being alike doesn't mean you should start living together, opposite poles attract too... maybe the first one you chose is the one made for you - think over.
I think for some time you should be alone without either of them & try to keep yourself busy. It will help you understand your own feelings. I mean the person you miss the most, is the one whom you truly love. One more thing, I feel it is just an attraction you are having. Maybe i am wrong, but i am glad to help you. God Bless U. Take Care.
This sounds like a line between love and lust to me. Are you actually willing to walk away from a man that you love for a fling with the best man? It is just curiosity. No one here can make up your mind. I personally would stop and think, do you really love your man? I know being married, I don't even talk to other men. I have no int rest in them. My man is wonderful and no one will come between us. If your looking at another, personally, you are not ready for marriage.
ask yourself this question, could you imagine life without your fiance?
also there's a difference between being in love with someone and just loving them, are you IN LOVE with your fiance or do you just love him dearly?
you need to have both with him and its important that you are in love with him even after all this while that you have been together. think about this carefully, do u know for sure that if you leave, you and "john" will last after the lust is over?
Well, if it's just the hots for John and it is love and respect for your fiance, then stick with your fiance, because the hots fade away eventually. Think about who you'd truly want to be with if you had to spend the rest of your life stranded on an island. Does John feel the same about you as you do him? Because if he doesn't, then ending it with your fiance to go with him could leave you with no one.
maybe you are only attracted w/ him "john".... but only you can answer your question.... just follow your heart.... just think, who we'll be the person you can feel how to be truly happy.
wow, you are in deep
you have a crush!
in this case you have to weight in the situation
you have to look at every single thing about your fiance
see the future, see the future with john
what is the difference, the similarities, how would you feel in the long run, what would you do. I mean you know your fiance for a long time, you know how he is, what he feels,what he would do in any given situation.
Talk to john, does he feel the same way. this is a test. Life is giving you a test and wants to see how you would pass. Please look at your life and how it will be before taking any major step.
I hope I made sense, please let me know what you thought, I think your mind and your heart are in a battle right now, and you are so confused,
tell me if I am wrong
write me
u r 26 u should know better.look,deres something called knowing each other..u and Ur fiance have known each other for years...believe me..this relay helps in relationships..u know every part of him and his personality.but on the other hand u have seen dis guy for only a few days now...and how can u be so sure u r in love with him and not infatuation?grow up...we never appreciate Wat we Harv and find Oder things too interesting.DAT guy for whom u Harv fallen u say,may b just pretending to be similar to u.u never know.u can never trust someone so easily when u Harv met him 2 days ago...but u and Ur fiance have known each Oder for so many years...u r sure enough about ur relationship.don't waste ur time over dat guy, u have ur fiance...love him all u can.don't let ur eyes hover around oder males.be mature and stick with your decision.u'l find out eventually dat u've not taken a wrong decision after all.best of luck for ur future and congrats on ur engagment....enjoy ur togetherness..........
Love Advice Desperately Needed - Should I Stay Or Go?
