Such issues need alto of care because wrong decisions can bring to us more than we bargained for. There is usually a tendency of getting used to one another,especially if you have been together for a while. When we begin taking each other for granted (unconsciously), things begin taking a downhill descent.
For one, love is an emotion (the strongest in humans at that), and it hardly will continue on all-time high. Once we appreciate that, we can navigate around other factors which are variable but affect love.When love emotion is high, we tend not to notice the wrongs our spouses do to us. When the tide goes down, they jump up like gigantic mountains. It's worthwhile therefore to bring onto a common table, those things which we feel are not going down well with us;when the love still feels high.
You must have noticed that there are some things that came from her that put you off or to some degree offended you but they don't seem a "big deal" then. These are the things that translate into love-life threatening entities!!
There was a bond that connected/joined you before the children came. Going back Little, check what goals and aspirations you had when you began it all. If you walked into a noisy room, first few minutes are very uncomfortable but you soon get used to it. It's similar scenario..suppose you would stop looking and majoring on the things that you don't like and focus on what is attractive about her? On the other hand is there a possibility that in one way or a another you have contributed to the coldness? Ladies for one are very sensitive emotionally. What looks a small thing to us may be very important to them!! For fear of hurting you she can keep quiet when something offends her; naturally there will be a tendency of withdrawal on her part thus bringing the love temperature down!!By what you have said, she seems to be trying to getting some attention from you, in those things that she is doing ans also as a show that she also loves you!! PLease check if there is a possibility she is feeling cut out from your emotional life!!
Though people take it as an option, getting out/divorce is not the best. The capacity to trust(which is a main component of love) will have been greatly eroded and thus making it difficult to relate again. Too, if the problem began with you, you will find you will carry it to the next relation. Work it out first without taking divorce as an option.
I hope this will help you rise up. Thanks
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