I need male advice on jealousy.?

Boo's-Babygirl · #1 (**permalink**) 12-16-2008, 06:42 AM

Lastnight my ex-boyfriend invited me to go bowling with him and his two friends. I agreed and was picked up at my house by the three of them. We showed up at the bowling alley and there were two girls (one of them being a girl who tried to break up my ex and I months back) at the arcade. My ex ran off to greet them and invited them to bowl with us. I was fine with it until things started to escalate.My ex had his arm around the girl who had tried to break us up months before. He would put his arm around her and then look at me and snuggle closer to her. I tried to rise above the situation and put a smile on my face when actually I was real hurt. My question to you is...Was this an act to make me jealous enough to where I felt just horrible inside?Was it an act to try to get me to make a move?Or was he just oblivious of my feelings?When we were dating he had told me that he HATED that girl and that she was almost too annoying to stand...Yet he was snuggling with her?I know I need to get over the whole situation but why would you do this to someone that you obviously know cares about you?

J.D · #2 (**permalink**) 12-16-2008, 06:55 AM

yeah he probably is just using her to get you mad or jealous, just cause you guys are friends dont mean he got over it.one thing about guys sure they might say that they are ok with just being friends but thats just something that we dont want so its either going out or not even talk.sure there is SOME guys that will be ok with just friends but for the most case they just want their girl back or just not even have any contact with them.

sr_engr · #3 (**permalink**) 12-18-2008, 05:15 AM

The situation is contrived to hurt you - but you should be flattered.Both he and she consider you significant enough that how you feel dictates the when and how of how they understand part of their relationship.Furthermore - if he would do this to you at her bidding, he will do it to her at someone else's bidding. She just got to watch that with her own eyes, and has so little self-esteem (or brains) that she is okay with it. She deserves him.You are the kind of girl that can go out with an ex and be a friend. You dont hold the long-term grudge. Apparently both he and she do. In doing this he is showing that neither he, nor she are the same caliber of person as you. He deserves her just as much as she deserves him.You could be hurt, but if I were you, I would be flattered, but move on. Those two people are dangerous to whomever they are around. Find friends who are not so dangerous, or low-caliber.

Jewels · #4 (**permalink**) 12-27-2008, 12:38 PM

Wow, he is an @$$. If you're smart you will not hang out with him again. My sisters boyfriend practically did this to her. It shows where their loyalty is huh? You weren't being jealous...you were upset because you were being disrespected and had several people being inconsiderate towards you. I'm surprised you handled it so well. They didn't deserve you being so nice to them.Don't make excuses for him..he isn't that oblivious. He's very vindictive. How awful of him. If you hang out with him again you are just showing that you accept being walked all over.

Disturbed · #5 (**permalink**) 12-30-2008, 09:36 PM

it probably was just to make you jealous.if you guys had a really messy breakup that could be why he might do that.or if he is just an asshole.girls are a lot better at this then guys are, so you might just want to tell him how you felt.just tell him that it really hurt you seeing him act like that, and ask him why he would invite you if he was just going to try and make you jealous like that.well best of luck, hope this helped =)

JOHNNYROCKET · #6 (**permalink**) 03-20-2009, 01:56 PM

It seems to me that your bf may still have the hots for this broad. It didn't appear to him to consider your feelings about how you felt about this girl. Because if he did he'd know that what he was doing would have an effect on you.which leads me to believe that he does'nt hold you in his heart the way you expect a bf would and you should let him know that what he did was wrong and that it hurt you.you can see for yourself what kind of a guy he is by the way he responds to you when you bring the topic to his attention. Then you'll know for yourself if he's worth your time and tears.

Bash Bunza · #7 (**permalink**) 03-20-2009, 03:00 PM

Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you, Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear of losing something and anger that someone is"moving in on"something that you feel belongs only to you.

cathy22 · #8 (**permalink**) 06-18-2011, 05:47 PM

sounds to me like the guys playing games with you,

do you really need this in your life now?