marriage problems please help.?

Why are you afraid to tell him? Would he harm you? If so, then maybe you need to just wait it out. If he is chatting with someone else, then you may want to ask him to talk and when you do, don't do it as an accusation. Say, (when I found out or whatever you want to say here), I feel hurt or disappointed or what ever you are truly feeling. The word feel has such power. Hopefully he will be honest with you. He may be just curious, but he needs to spend his time with you, not on line with someone else. Good luck.

My advice is ignore the whole thing. I think you are making something out of nothing at all. People are free to have Friends without having to get permission from their spouse, aren't they. Chill.

I would tell him that I know and confront him about it. Past relationships with the opposite sex should remain in the past. She should be talking to her own husband and not yours. You don't know if the old girlfriend is in a happy marriage with her husband and looking for some excitement in her life with your husband. If it was all innocent than why hasn't he mentioned her to you? I would be totally uncomfortable with that......Can read what they are saying to each other? Maybe sit back and observe what is being discussed between them and see if ever brings her up to you. Then get him on it!

Well, all you need is wisdom from God, It is not wrong to ask about the old lady, but there is what I call "TIME PRESENTATION GAME" that is, the Time and way of Presentation matter alto at home. No matter the Isuess there is Time and way of presentation. So if you can play this game you will always be on top but if not, you may destroy your home. Be careful ! Good luck.

for one isn't my space like something people do in high school, and ya he is talking to her cause he likes her, dudes just dint talk to chicks and not expect some thin.....it is simple...confront him before it gets too far and if he makes a big deal out of it then ya he is cheating or some thin but if he doesn't care then it should be a good laugh....it is a 90% chance he is cheating if u think he is....!

(1) Ask him about my space and who is he chatting with. See if he volunteers the information, and then take it from there. (2) Or asking him casually, how is the old girlfriend doing, and this will open the topic. (3) Just say you noticed that he has been chatting with this person and how is this person doing.

I don't think you should ignore it. In order to build a stronger marriage and have the trust between you grow, you need to open up this topic with him.

Unless he's making excuses to go out without you knowing where he's going, I'd say you have nothing to worry about. Jealousy only makes this kind of situation worse........

Dear: marriage problems please help.?

When a women doesn't mind her husband chatting with her old girlfriend from 5 years ago...just remember something. Five years ago, things were probably much better that NOW. ..and so with that I mean that, there isn't anything more beautiful and gratifying that trusting your husband, which also shows that you are very much secure in your relationship and you have self esteem and you are mature and you can hold it together. I know curiosity kills the cat ! We always want to know...more. and with that i ask you, Why were you spying on him. One who is looking it's likely to find...now you got yourself into trouble. I think that if your feel that secure yo should have not spy on him, so I believe you need to come clean. Communicate with him...in the end your cross a boundary, faced up to it and hope that now he makes it so you won't be able to spy any more...because clearly, he doesn't trust you now. So even. Keep your eyes open, girl.

god bless you...me
in Patillas, PR

To keep your marriage alive, you simply have to be very calm.. just follow to what Kerry here have written (my opinion). If you handle this situation bad you`ll have to be sorry, because you love him and you need to have a good family..In this age, we all face such problems and handling it wise is the only option...remember life without a good family is like a ship in rough sea.

He has something to hide.

It would bother me a lot if my husband was chatting with an ex and didn't tell me about it. Turn it around...if you were doing this, how would he react?

Over a quiet dinner, when things are cool, I would say that my curiosity got the best of me...(bored)...and I looked into his my space. He may not like this, but oh well...The more important thing is what he says about not telling you....about the ex.

We have to pay real close attention to what's going on in our relationship. Long term marriages don't just happen...they take work.

If there is love, caring, attention, healthy sex life, humor...all the good stuff, most marriages survive 'little mistakes'.

Forgiveness is grand. :-}

Kelly try not to make a big deal of it right now, but what you must do is talk to your husband. Ask him in different mood like you want to know if there's something that he needs to tell you ,or if something is bothering him. Or you can even be direct like hows your friend on line?, ask if she's doing fine. From there you will see if your husband is hiding something from you, but I think his not. Just be honest with him, tell him that one day you saw who he was talking on line. If you don't do this now, that chatting will get worst like meeting each others and all. This is all in your hand,don't just wait for it to happen for your sake.....

I went through that a few months back. The only reason that I found out about it was because the email account that his my space is under is one of our shared accounts. I checked that email address to check for a letter from a friend, and I found where she had sent him all these messages. I hate to admit it, but I know his password and so I got on his my space to see what was going on. I hadn't even know that she was one of his friends. They were all innocent messages, she was asking how his parents were and how me and our kids were(I have met her several times). So later that day I asked him about it. He said that he was sorry for not telling me. I was upset because, if it was all innocent (and it was) why were they doing it through messages instead of on the comment parts. If it is really bothering you that bad you need to ask him about it. You will feel much better about it when you know what's going on. By the way, my husband and I are doing great, and he deleted her from his friend list.

It sounds like you have a communication problem that is/may be workable. The first thing is to talk to your husband at a neutral time and not the dinner table. Tell him you noticed that he is communicating with an old girlfriend. The second is; is there a problem that the two of you need to discuss? The third is; I feel like we need to spend that same time talking for our marriage. The fourth is; I really feel slighted and love you very much, but I am afraid that if this continues, it may grow into a problem for us.
If he doesn't stop, then a counselor is needed to step in to help with the addiction of another woman. My advice is to continue to date and be intimate. Usually these are problems.People deserve to have an honest, loving spouse and a happy relationship. Good luck and God's Blessings.